Finding Love

Chapter 1

I can't believe that I did it! When I heard my name being called, screams of joy echoed in the crowd as my family and close friends cheered. Bachelor's degree at age twenty-one, √ (check). I couldn't wait to begin my journey in the Master's program pursuing forensic pathology. I guess by now you're wondering, who the hell am I?! So here it goes.

I'm Asia Renee Barnes, but everyone calls me Asia-Nae or Nae. I'm a big girl, 250 pounds to be exact, 5'6", mocha skin, diamond shaped hazel eyes, 44 DD breasts, a decent size ass, and mid-back length locs. I was born and raised in the Virgin Islands (shout out to all my Caribbean gyals) and moved to Miami, Florida after graduating from high school, to follow my dreams of becoming a forensic pathologist.

Now enough with the introduction, let's get back to where I left off. Yes, yes, your girl did it; 3.9 GPA, acceptance into three of the top graduate programs, and a paid summer internship. My dreams were closely becoming a reality but even with all this success, I still felt empty.

After the ceremony, I was showered with kisses, hugs, gifts, and dinner at a five-star restaurant. I couldn't deny how much I enjoyed my family and best friends, Rosie and Avonell, being here on my special day; especially since tickets aren't cheap bih, between the ferry and flight, it's about $600 round-trip. Regardless of anything, my family and besties have always supported me. They have been with me through this roller coaster I call life. From being teased (fat, ugly, nerdy, etc.) for most of my childhood and teenage years to being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; they have been with me every step of the way. I was happy to enjoy the last day with my family and excited that Rosie and Avonell had decided to stay with me for two weeks.

*The next day*

"Asia-Naeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Rosie shouted, "Wake your ass up bitch!"

"Dang Rosetta, can't a girl get a little more sleep in this piece," I groaned.

"You heard her Nae. You promised you'd take us to the mall," said Avonell.

"Erh, fine hoes I'm up," I said annoyed.

(Now don't get it twisted, we were all raised right. I guarantee you that we don't call other females out of their names. LOL, until a heffa wanna try us.)

As I pulled the covers off me and got out of my queen sized therapeutic mattress, I couldn't help but look around my beautiful room. I still couldn't believe how I lucked out getting this condo a few months ago. Before I went any deeper with my thoughts, I smelt a whiff of burnt bacon in the air.

"I hope y'all can't cook muthafuckas ain't burning down my nice ass kitchen," I yelled while going to join them.

I rolled my eyes at the sight that I had seen; extra crisp bacon, dried up scrambled eggs and burnt toast. I couldn't believe that after all these years my besties couldn't even make a simple meal.  The kitchen was my domain; I don't mean to brag, but your girl throws down; not just Caribbean food but your girl is skilled internationally thanks to my grandmother, mother, Food Network, and many cookbooks. I didn't even bother to eat; I wasn't hungry and I never ate breakfast anyway.

*Later at the mall*

"So, you been here for four years and still can't find a man," Avonell asked.

I rolled my eyes and watched her crazy.

"Y'all both know why, so don't push it," I said irritated.

Remember when I said earlier that I felt empty, well here's the explanation. Although your girl went from 325 to 250 pounds in two years, I was still insecure. All those years of teasing had put a toll on me. I drowned myself in my studies because excelling always seemed to boost my confidence. I also always dressed to impress, with my locs neatly groomed, and nails and toes manicured and polished. I made sure that everything in my life was near perfect because I was insecure. After all that I've accomplished so far, I still felt unattractive.

Maybe if I was slim thick or skinny like my best friends, I would have a man. I'm traditional in the sense that I'd like to wait till marriage to have sex but was I that ugly and overweight to not even have my first kiss or a boyfriend? The love and support of family and friends is great and all but this chick right here needs the love of a companion. I don't want to be the sad, lonely old lady living with hella cats (eww, I hate them).        Should I even bother and just give up on love?

"I should smack the dog shit outta you. You're beautiful Asia-Nae and you know it too boo. You just need to live a little and stop having your face on bitch mode all the time and then you'd probably have them niggas lining up at your door, "chuckled Rosie.

"Yes honey, I agree with what Rosie said, now cheer up, and let's hurry get you a sexy ass outfit for tonight," Avonell squealed.