Nightmares and discoveries

Nightmares

A/N: Italics - thoughts

AAAAAAAAH

"..n.."

"..on.."

"..Gon.."

"GON!"

"WAKE UP, GON!!!"

"Killua..."

'Why won't he wake up?' Killua looked down at Gon, squirming around and with an alarming expression. 'Just what is he dreaming about?'

No, don't leave! Don't leave me Killua! Not yet, not yet. We can get through this, we will survive! "Gon..." Killua opened his eyes. "Killua...You're alive" Killua smiled up at him. "Just barely" He managed to say with ragged breath. Gon looked down at Killua with tears in his eyes. "Don't, you can't. Don't leave me, Killua!" Gon looked Killua in the eyes, while Killua looked back, his eyes fluttering closed. "I'm sorry, Gon..." Killua's eyes closed and his breathing stopped. "No, Killua, don't leave me. Killua!!!" He held Killua's lifeless body close to his own. Tears streemed down his face. "Don't leave me, Killua..."

Gon sat up, wide eyes, panting. "Gon, you're awake!" Killua said, relieved that his friend finally was awake. Gon looked to his side, and saw Killua standing beside his bed, with a worried look on his face. "Killua!" "Yeaaaahhhhh, GON!" Gon pulled Killua in to a hug, trapping Killua in his arms. Gon had pulled him in for a hug before he even noticed. "G-G-G-Gon, d-don't just do something like this!" Killua said with a blush covering his whole face. Gon just thightened his hug, burrowing his head in the crook of Killua's neck and sniffed in. Killua's blush spread to his ears and down his neck. Going a few shades darker. "G-G-G-Gon, w-w-w-what are you doing, w-what are happening with you?" Killua looked down at gon, with a questioning expression. Gon just burrowed his head further down in Killua's neck, staying silent. Killua kept looking down at Gon with a worried and confused expression, but when he stayed silent and just thightened the hug more, he sighed. He wrapped his arms around him and just hold on tight for a little while. "Gon, whats wrong?" Killua asked sounding concerned. "Nothing." Answered Gon. "Com'n you can't be serious, whats wrong?" Killua asked again. Gon lifted his head and looked up in to Killua's eyes. "Nothing!" Gon answered again.

Killua pinched both of Gon's cheeks and glared down at him. "It's clearly not 'nothing', whats wrong?" He asked again, letting go of Gon's cheeks. Gon pouted, rubbing his cheeks and looked down with a sad look in his eyes. "Killua, really, it's nothing." Gon said again, Killua sighed exasperated. Getting up and of the bed. Beginning to go too the kitchen.

But before he could take a single step, a hand around his wrist stopped him. "Stay!" Gon said looking down at his feet. "Then tell me whats wrong." Killua said. "I...I had a dream" Gon said, then shaked his head. "No, I suppose I should call it a nightmare." letting go of Killua's wrist, Killua sat down on the bed beside him. "And..." Killua pressured. "I-in the nightmare.." Gon continued. "I-I...y-you...y-you..." "I what?" Killua asked, pressing the matter. "Y-you...how do I say it?...y-you left." Gon said looking sad, a tear running down his face. "L-left?" Killua said not knowing what to do anymore. "Y-you died!" Gon said, tears now streaming freely down his face. Killua looked shocked at Gon, frozen. 'I-I died...in Gon's nightmare, h-he's crying, G-Gon, please don't cry, I can't bear to see you cry, please don't, w-what shall I do?' Killua felt something wet on his face and lifted his hand up to touch his cheek. Killua was shocked, he was crying, but Killua never cried, not even when he was tortured as a child. So why now? He looked down at Gon. He was still crying. Unsure if what he was about to do was right, he lifted a shaking arm up and placed it on Gon's shoulder. When he got no reaction, he pulled Gon into a tight hug.

Gon just continued crying into Killua's shoulder and Killua himself cried in Gon's. after a while they stopped crying, but stayed in the position. "I-I'm sorry Killua, now you began to cry too." Gon said, a little smile on his lips. "I-Idiot, see what you now did. I'm all wet!" Gon's smile just widened at that comment. "Sorry, Killua!" Gon said, while drying his eyes. "D-don't worry about that, it doesn't matter." Killua said, while pulling out from the hug, blushing deeply. 'I-I can't get ahead from myself, even if I like him, he probably doesn't like me, but even so I'm glad he isn't sad anymore, I can't let something like that happen again, I was the cause of this, it wasn't even me who had a nightmare and yet I still cried, he probably hate me now, but that doesn't matter, because as long as I can love him I'll be fine...wait did I just say love? Yeah, maybe I do, as long as we are friends, I can hold back, I doesn't need anymore, I doesn't deserve him, so as long as we are friends, yeah that's right!'

"G-Gon are you alright now?" Killua said, looking at gon. Gon just smiled and nodded. "Yeah, thanks Killua!" Gon replied with a smile before looking back at his feet. "Why where you so sad, what happened in your nightmare?" Said Killua looking intently at Gon. Gon looked up and looked Killua right in the eyes. Without wavering he said. "Killua, in my nightmare you died, I couldn't save you, I-I couldn't do anything!" A tear ran down his face and Killua looked shocked. "Y-You wanted to save me?" Said Killua, while pointing at himself. "Of course I wanted to save you! You're my bestfriend! I care about you so much, that if you died I-I will die too!" Another tear ran down Gon's face. Killua's eyes were wide open, his mouth a gape and a tear running down his cheek. He couldn't control himself anymore, he needed Gon. NO! He wanted him so much, that he couldn't control himself anymore. Any restraints he might have had, broke. Killua grabed Gon. One hand on the back of his neck and another at his back. Pulling Gon to him and smashing his lips on Gon's, kissing him. Gon's eyes widened, while Killua assaulted his mouth. Killua bite Gon's lower lip, nipping it a little and then sticking his tongue out to lick it. Gon was taken by surprise. Gasping, opening his mouth, Killua putting his tongue in his mouth and Gon letting out a moan. He explored Gon's mouth, battling with his tongue, Gon finally out of the shock, kissing back. When they parted, panting hard, they just stared at each other.

Killua's eyes widened and he looked at anywhere but Gon, afraid of rejection. "I-I'm sorry Gon, I just couldn't contain myself anymore!" Gon just stared at Killua when he continued. "I... look Gon.. I-I'm in love with you, I know you don't feel the same way about me. It's okay, but I know it's a lot to ask about, but if we could just continue being friends?" Killua looks up at Gon with a little hope in his eyes. When Gon just continues to stare at him, giving no reaction, the last bit of hope Killua had disappears.