20 days

one

luna's pov

saturday
2:05 AM

darkness. silence. depression. my three best friends who were always there for me when no one else was. i may let them took over my life but somehow, they made me happy. i'm better with them. i don't feel alone because of them. i've changed because of them.

darkness taught me it's okay to cry in the dark since no one will be able to find you.

silence taught me it's okay to be quiet, sometimes you just have to keep things to yourself.

depression taught me it's okay to be depressed. happiness won't be there all the time. the good and the bad will never understand each other.

people say i'm crazy, no i'm not, i'm sick. suddenly, the sound of ambulance sirens were echoing throughout the city coming after me.

sunday
12:36 PM

"luna? sweetie?" i heard a familiar voice calling out for my name, the voice was gentle and sweet. as soon as i completely opened my eyes, it was my therapist—mrs. lee.

"m-mrs. lee, i-i'm sorry," i apologized under my breath, i feel like i don't have the energy to speak a word. i've noticed i was laying on a cold, big, soft, and white mattress. my wrists were wrapped around with a bandage. i was inhaling oxygen through a tube.

wait, what happened again last night?

"you don't need to apologize, sweetie. it's alright, i'm here. your parents called me earlier that you tried killing yourself again last night. sweetie, i thought we agreed on avoiding committing suicide?" she said, staring at the screen of her macbook which was placed on her lap, waiting for me to speak up. oh right, i tried to committ suicide again last night. what's new?

situations like this are becoming a normal thing to me. i tried to committ suicide at two in the morning, i screamed, my parents rushed to me and called for help, i ended up being in the hospital, looking pale as ever, waking up to see the therapist is in front of me, she ask me questions and i answer, i go home, then repeat. life is crazy, isn't it?

"didn't i established it to you before that it's becoming a habit of mine?" i said, chuckling like an insane person. honestly, what is wrong with me?

"anyway, where's my family?" i asked, trying to change the subject as i carefully stood up but mrs. lee quickly came up to me and told me i should lay down first, i needed to rest. i don't need to rest, i've been resting too much.

"honey, your parents are outside waiting while i believe your little sister is attending her best friend's birthday party. c'mon just lay down," she said, worriedly. i nodded.

"alright, now, back to the topic-"

"no! shut up! i don't want to talk about it! leave me alone!" i shouted at her, i could feel my blood was boiling due to anger. what's happening to me? why am i angry all of a sudden? mrs. lee quickly stood up from her seat and right before she left the room, "w-we will meet again," she said as she shut the door.

i rolled my eyes in annoyance as i groaned in frustration. my hands were balling into fists. goddammit, i hate people. i hate myself. i hate the world.

monday
6:45 AM

"oh wow fuck, it's monday." i said under my breath, rolling my eyes by the thought of seeing my schoolmates, teachers, and just school itself.