Harmony (ON HOLD)

Chapter 9

I slowly get underneath the covers as Harry pulls them up to my shoulders. I take in a deep breath as my nerves are still getting the best of me. 

I feel slightly embarrassed that Harry didn't return my hug. I didn't expect him to but it still hurt. I also feel bad because I feel as though I have invaded his personal space without permission. I should be more considerate next time, but in the moment I was so desperate for comfort I went to someone who barely had an understanding of kindness.

I feel the mattress move and look over at Harry who has slid into the bed next to me. I am very aware of how close to the edge he is, trying to be as far away from me as possible. I don't know whether I should be relieved that he is keeping his distance or hurt that he doesn't want to be near me.

I decide to be relieved when I think again about how he could be a murder. I need to know if he is, I won't be able to sleep until I have some answers.

I look over at Harry and try to make out his features in the dark room. I'm pretty sure his eyes are wide open. My thoughts are confirmed when he darts his gaze to me.

"What?" He snaps.

"I, I.....was just wondering if you were awake."

"Why?" He is annoyed, I can tell.

"Is Siva..." I trail off trying to be careful with the words I choose.

"Is Siva what?" He taunts me as he turns his body to face me, his head resting in his hand as he leans on his elbow.

"Is he dead?" I can hear the fear in my own voice.

I hear Harry scoff. "Why? Do you want him to come back here and fuck you?"

"What?! No!" I screech, his answers catching me offguard. Why would he think that?

I swallow slowly and try to clear my throat. "Why would you ask that?" My voice is shaky.

"Well, you asked if he was dead like you wanted him to still be alive."

"I, no, that's not it." I whisper.

"So, you want him dead?" 

"Yes. No! I mean no, of course I don't want him dead!" 

"So, you do want him to come back and fuck you. I saw the way you were staring at him, you were checking him out." 

"No! I wasn't! He's vile, I was afraid of him. If I was staring it's because I was in shock....Why are you saying these things? You don't have to be so mean." 

"You didn't need to ask that question." Harry retaliates.

"Which you didn't answer yet." I whisper and then bite on my lip, hoping he didn't hear me.

"I don't need to answer." I let out a sigh and we lay in silence for a few minutes. I quickly look over at Harry and see that he is still very much awake. I jump to conclusions and begin to believe that Harry did in fact kill Siva. If he didn't kill him, he could just answer me, but because he refuses to answer, I have no choice but to think he did kill him.

Would Harry kill me? Is he capable of being that heartless? 

I closed my eyes, thinking off all the possiblities of what Harry could do to me. How did I get myself into this situation? I wish he would tell me what happened the night that I lost my memory.

I ran along what seemed like a dark, floating road as if I was traveling from reality to my dream. 

I saw a dog in the distance, growling.

Everything was fuzzy, my sight going black as I began to feel dizzy.