Roommates

Visiting Day

A/N: I know many of you are disappointed with Tris's decision at the end of the last chapter. The reality is, as much as we all want to believe we'd never put up with that-- and perhaps many wouldn't-- Tris's choice to give Eric another chance isn't an uncommon reaction. These are flawed characters, just as we are all flawed people in real life. If they were perfect and always made the best decisions, there wouldn't be much of a story.  

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Four
Mid-October

"So, Visiting Day is tomorrow, isn't it?" Amar asks as we tidy up the gym at the end of the day. You can have visitors anytime you want, of course, but this day is especially set up for families, with events on campus and such.

I groan. "Yeah, about that... you're sure you don't need me to come in and, like... wash walls or something, tomorrow?"

Amar chuckles. "I take it you aren't looking forward to seeing your family. That visit last month didn't go well?" After my last visit home, I asked Amar to please never give me a Saturday off to go home for a family event ever again. I immediately regretted it-- having just returned from my weekend visit for Marcus's business dinner, I was still very sore from my encounter with his belt, and I worry that Amar could tell something was really wrong.

I shrug. "It's been just my dad and me for a long time," I tell him, spitting the word 'dad' out as if it tastes bad. "We... don't get along very well." Amar nods slowly.

"Look, Four," Amar says with a sigh. "I can tell you've been through some shit, but I'm not going to pry-- if you want me to know, you'll tell me. I just hope that you have someone you can talk to about whatever it is. It's not good to keep too much inside." I run my fingers through my hair nervously, avoiding eye contact with him. "Like maybe your girlfriend? Do you talk to her?"

A short laugh escapes me before I can stop it. "I'll take that as a no," Amar says slowly, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know, Amar..." I move a punching bag to the back of the closet to make room for the others we need to fit in there. "Christina... I almost broke up with her last month. Then I don't know, I decided not to give up like that... but now I can't even remember why. It just feels like everything is always all about her."

"A bit one-sided," he says.

"Yeah, exactly. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about things that are really personal."

Amar taps his chin. "And you've been together over a year?" I nod. "Don't you think after that long together... if she were really someone you were compatible with... that you could talk to her, by now?" I look down at my hands. Hearing it put like that... yeah, it does kind of seem that way. For about the millionth time, my mind flashes back to that kiss with Tris. She might be deserving of my trust. I'm almost certain she is.

"I'll think about that, Amar," I promise him as I close the storage closet and grab my bag.

Amar nods. "Good luck tomorrow at Visiting Day. And don't forget that I'm always here, too, if you need someone to talk to."

It is now Sunday. Visiting Day. I'd rather pretend it doesn't exist and stay holed up in the gym with a punching bag.

Zeke and Uriah would let me tag along with their family, and that would be alright, too, as Hana Pedrad has been like a surrogate mother to me for years. I'd be surprised if Shauna didn't invite me to spend time with her and her sister, Lynn, as well.

Unfortunately, Marcus is undoubtedly coming today.

None of my friends are there when I come to the dining hall for breakfast, but a minute after I start eating my scrambled eggs, french toast, and fruit salad, Tris sits down next to me.