People always told me I was never truly in love with someone. They told me it was just infatuation and I would be over it in a couple of days. What these people don’t know is I was “infatuated” with this person for weeks…. Wouldn’t this be counted as love? Well he left so I guess I may never know.
I’m Raven, I am sixteen and I fall in love easily. Raven isn’t my birth name, but I changed my name when I was in seventh grade, I just wanted to be different you know? Anyway I’m not like most girls, I’m not pretty or perfect in anyway and my personality totally sucks. I have jet black hair, and my make-up is always dark, so I guess you can say I am emo, but who cares I am who I am. I have a lot of imperfections, most of them are the scars from a razor blade being ran over my flesh, the rest…. Well they are inside.
When I say I fall in love easily it isn’t like I fall in love with every guy I see, I usually talk to them and fall in love with their personality. That’s how it was when I met Damien…. I fist talked to him on Facebook after I had gone through a bad breakup. He helped me through my tough times and he was the only one there for me at the time. Now, I never really planned on falling in love with Damien… It just happened.
I loved Damien the very first time he talked to me. Everything he said to me was absolutely perfect, and he made my life so much better with every word. Yeah break-ups happen and yeah they suck, but nobody should have to go through a bad break-up alone. No one ever really realizes this until someone walks into their lives and just changes everything. Damien was that one person that turned my whole world upside down. When I talked to Damien it was like I was talking to an older sibling or a really good friend. Damien was unlike any other person I have ever met. He was kind, caring, and sweet….. Or so I thought….
You know those people that just kind of pop up on your friends list? They never message you or anything, but they are always paying attention and they always like your stuff? Well that is the kind of person Damien was, he never talked to me, but he always liked my stuff. When he messaged me after I posted a really depressing status about what happened between me and my boyfriend I was honestly shocked and a little scared. I wouldn’t really tell him anything at first, I wouldn’t even answer him, eventually I talked to him and opened up to him a little bit and I realized how much we had in common. I didn’t realize how I knew Damien; all I knew was that we had a couple of mutual friends.
The next day at school I was telling my best friend about Damien and she looked at me puzzled. “Wait who is this guy?” she kept asking. “Come on Blaze I have told you like five times now his name is Damien and he is super cute and really sweet.” She just kept giving me a puzzled look and I didn’t understand why. “Raven,” she said almost concerned, “I dated Damien… Don’t you remember meeting him? It was like ninth grade!” I looked at her and thought for a while, and then everything clicked, why he looked so familiar and why his name was familiar… At this time I honestly wanted to lock myself in a room and never come out, I could not be in love with my best friend’s ex-boyfriend….. That is just wrong!
That night I practically ran home so I could talk to Damien and tell him how we knew each other, but when I got home it seemed like something was wrong. My parents were in my bedroom with my laptop in their hands, they told me that someone had said there was something on my laptop that was inappropriate and they were taking it away and I would be grounded for a long time. I freaked out and there were a million questions running through my head. How will I talk to Damien? How am I going to explain to him that I am grounded? And the worst question ever…. What if he never talks to me again? I cried for hours that night, I was just so afraid Damien was going to leave me and I would be back to endless pain.
I finally saw Damien later that week on a Wednesday, he decided he wanted to meet my whole family and go to a little church gathering with us. I was terrified not only have I never really met Damien in real life, but he was about to meet my family! Damien lived a little far from me, maybe about 25-30 minutes, so that whole time I had the chance to stress over everything that could go wrong. Not the best thing to do, my mom could tell I was freaking out so she decided to be “funny.” “Oh calm down Raven,” she said, “I only brought a few baby pictures to show him.” She kept doing this until we arrived at his house…. I don’t understand why she thought this was so funny….
When we got to Damien’s house I sat in the care for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes. When I finally got the courage to get out of the car and go up to his front door I was shaking like a Chihuahua. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer it felt like days before someone, a small girl, answered the door. She hid behind the door like she was frightened and she asked who I was, when I told her my name her face lit up and she let me inside. “Damien!” she yelled, “your girlfriend is here!!! Mom come see her she is beautiful!!!” I stood in the doorway blushing….. I guess he had been talking about me, how sweet.
When Damien walked into the room I felt so many butterflies in my stomach I thought I would be sick. He was amazingly handsome, and his smile was just perfect. As I was looking at him I looked at his eyes and realized he was staring at me waiting for me to say something. “uhhhh… hhhhhhh…..” Oh my god I sound like a total idiot! I can’t even say hi to him! He looked at me and smiled “Hi,” he said, “come on now don’t be shy you already know so much about me.” His voice was amazing I felt like I was in a dream. He walked over to me cautiously and pulled me into his arms, I felt so safe and I never wanted to let go. His sister suddenly came back and was giggling and kept saying aww. I looked up at him and asked if he was ready to leave then we left his house and went out to my car.
When we got in the car it was completely silent and it was very tense. Then I realized I hadn’t introduced him to anyone. “Ummmm mom, dad, everyone…” I kept stuttering and I sounded like a total idiot, “This is Damien, my boyfriend.” He smiled and said hi. My mom was the first person to say something. “Hi Damien, it is very nice to meet you.” She gave him a warm smile… Why was she being so nice? No one else said anything until we arrived at our church gathering. When we arrived it seemed that Damien knew some of my friends and he looked very comfortable around them. I soon realized I ever really had anything to be afraid of, everything would go just fine.
That night when we took Damien home I walked him to his door and we stopped for a little bit just looking at each other. “I… ummm…” He looked really nervous, it was kind of cute, “I’m really happy I got to see you Raven, it made me so happy.” He smiled at me and I just sat there smiling back, then I realized I should probably say something. “I’m really happy I got to see you too Damien, but I don’t want to leave now…” My voice cracked and I realized I was crying, why was I crying? He took me in his arms, “Don’t cry baby it will all be okay we will see each other really really soon I promise.” I looked up at him and sniffled… That night is when I realized I really was in love with Damien, no matter what everyone else has told me I knew I was in love.
