Aftermath

The Start

He was just here.

He was literally just here.

Three days ago, I laid cuddled up with his little body in his hospital bed. He told me he was tired so I told him he should sleep. He laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world, then he did fall asleep. I wasn't surprised when he didn't wake up.

Lincoln Janes did not get enough years on this shitty planet. Five years is not enough, it will never be enough.

I stood frozen, staring at the newly planted dirt that was covering a coffin that was way too small to be fair. Link deserved more. He deserved more time, more family, more friends. He deserved to know life outside of the overly optimistic, brightly painted walls of a children's hospital. He deserved a dad that made time and a mom that wasn't too depressed to come visit. He deserved a better sister than me who never knew how to help.

God knew my mood, that's why he made it start to pour down rain on a day that was just suppose to be partly cloudy.

I looked up at the sky once I felt the rain, took a deep breath, then forced myself to look over at my mother.

Before Link's cancer diagnosis, my mom was happy. She would sing while making us breakfast and was pretty much an annoying optimist cartoon character. In fact, that's exactly what she was doing when she got the call from Link's pediatrician that his blood work was abnormal and that he needed to come to the hospital for further testing.

He'd only leave the hospital two more times in his life after that. Three if you count his trip to the funeral home.

My mom was no longer happy. Through out his treatment she got more and more depressed. She lost fifty pounds and became a pale skeleton of her former self. The only color that was ever on her face anymore was the dark bags under her eyes.

As I looked at her sitting in one of the folding chairs that had been sat at for all the mourners to watch Link's tiny body fade from view forever, I couldn't help but feel bitter. She stopped visiting Link regularly months ago. She said it was too hard.

He was fighting for his life but it was too hard for her to make a damn visit more than once a week.

I glared at her for a few more seconds before scanning over to my dad who was sitting no less than ten chairs away from my mom.

My parents aren't divorced but they might as well be. Like my mom, it was too hard for my dad to see Link in pain. He busied himself with work, rarely coming home. He needed a distraction from the fact that there was nothing he could do for his only son.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to run.

I had to go to a place that I knew if Link's ghost was with us then this is the place he'd be.

The Pier.

As I took off, I heard my father screaming, "Amelia! Amelia Janes!" But I couldn't stop. I ran out of my black slip on heels then was able to run even faster. I ran so fast that once I reached the end of the pier I almost fell in.

I wanted to fall in.

I didn't want to be on the earth anymore because any place without Link is not the place for me.

Voices were screaming in my head.
"Jump!"
"Join him!"
"It's for the best."

I stared off into the distance where the mucky greenish blue sea met the dull grey sky.

That's were Link is and that's where I want to be.

I took a deep breath, held my arms out, and closed my eyes. If I was about to flop to my death I was going to do it as dramatically as possible.

Just as I started falling forward, a hand firmly grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a hard chest.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Shouted a boy with eyes so blue that the voices in my head stopped for a second.

But just a second.

I didn't answer him, I just shook my head and started to run away from the pier ignoring the boy's calls telling me to stop.

This isn't a fucking romance novel. Some random ass boy isn't going to come and save me from myself as I mourn the loss of the single most important person in my life. No matter how blue his eyes are.

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Hey!!! Okay so depressing AF first chapter... it doesn't stay this heavy I promise...
But ayyye yeah hope you enjoy it ✌🏼️❤️

Uploaded on May 22, 2017