Road To Popularity

Chapter I

The cacophonous ringing of the alarm blares out, hauling me from my peaceful sleep. I squeeze the fuck out of my eyes in an attempt to seize my sight.

I get out of bed slowly, I flounder my way as I'm trying to find the curtains with my eyes barely open. I eventually find the curtains and open them.

The light penetrates my eyes, blinding me once again.

I lumber to the bathroom, wash my face and brush my teeth. Today is the big day.

I go downstairs, to the kitchen table. Jen is eating her Coco Puffs as usual, Kyle is playing with his toys, and mom is.. being mom.

"Today is the day I'm turning my life around." I tell my sister.

"What life?" Jen says.

Thanks for reminding me.

"Fuck you." I say.

"I'm just joking little brother, I'm excited for you!"

x x x x

Another miserable year in Lakewood's High School begins tomorrow. People say "high school is the best time of your life." I must not have much of a life then.

What's a life with no friends, meaningful relationships or someone to care about you anyways?

When my junior year ended, I made a promise to myself that I would make the most of my senior year, that I would become one of the popular kids.

Not that popular kids are cool or anything.

Most of them are dicks and sluts, but I don't need to be like them to be a popular kid. I can be me, just excluding the social anxiety part..

x x x x

Later that day, my mom enters my room as I'm about to take my "sleeping" pills, then she begins telling me for the millionth time that I should stop taking pills and that I sleep just fine.

She doesn't realize that the pills aren't actually sleeping pills.

They are antidepressants. I would tell her but she would stop me, because the stigma is worsening by the day about taking meds. And she wouldn't be understanding.

The only person who knows about my depression and anxiety is my sister Jen.

In fact, she's the one who encouraged me to see a professional. In the beginning, I've went to a therapist, she tried to change the way I think.

They call it CBT, Cognitive behavioural therapy.

We kept trying for months to change the way I think, but it only had helped so little.

Therefore, she referred me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist suggested I some medication called Effexor.

I told him I would have to research it first. After researching and reading tons of reviews, good and bad.

Most of them said it numbed their feelings, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. However, I decided to give it a try.

At first I was skeptical, of course. But, it was a really bad point in my life where I would literally do anything just to feel a little better.

Even if that meant numbing my feelings. And that's exactly what it did, at least I don't feel as shitty as I did.