Babyboy ≫ Phan Au

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It didn't last long. I wished it lasted a little bit longer, but it just came crashing down in a matter of weeks. Who would of known that it could end so fast?
"we're almost there" Phil said sitting in front of me with a blank face. He truly had no emotions to show today.
What happens if I never get passed this point of sadness? or never get over him not being there?

What would kill me first being alone or the memories?
"Dan, I know we never spent that much time together and that it was hard trying to get use to the word Daddy, but please try to understand that I would do anything to protect you now" he said trying to take hold of my hand, but I don't want it anymore. I no longer need his embrace to make myself feel good or happy.
"can you tell me something, Phil" I say

"of course" he got to happy with only those words I just said
"did you love me?" I asked. My stern words frightened him in a way that I never seen he looked contemplative, which for my question is not good.
"I loved you..." I replied pushing back the tears "plus, now you're mixing I love you with please stay and it isn't working"

He leaned back into the seat and didn't speak for the rest of the ride, his bright blue eyes seeming a little more cloudy maybe it's the tears. Can I just please get to my dorm fast? I don't want to be in this limousine anymore, with this suffocating smell of leather. No one can hold back this many tears.

The limousine stopped now I feel a little frightened for the feeling of coming back and living in my old dorm will be hard.
"Dan, we're here" Chandler said opening the door for me.
"Thanks, Chandler" I say as I take my foot out the car to the college dorms. I'm back at the start with worse experience then before.The pain, but there will be a healing. I'll just cry till then.

Chandler got my bags out of the limousine placing them by the sidewalk with a face full of regret.
"By Dan... I will miss you greatly" He gave me a slight curtsy
"You to..." I can't hold the tear.
It slides out from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks racing each other to see which hits the floor first.

"Dan" Phil said from the limo "I know you don't wanna leave" he stood out from the limo.
"PLEASE LEAVE!" I yelled as waterfalls run down my bumpy face
"Dan, you're just hurting. I can help you"  He tried to grab my arm, but all it did was make me fall to the floor.

"WHY DO YOU TRY TO HELP ME SO MUCH, IT'S SUFFOCATING!" I yelled hands scrapped slightly bleeding and tears not stopping.
"I love you!" he said "I love you, Dan Howell! Is that what you want to hear me say!" he exclaimed
"WHY DO JUST SAY THINGS!!" I wipe my tears with my hands combining the blood and my tears.

Phil now stood above me looking at me like a weak soul who needs saving, but all he did was put his hand on my cheek. My tears was his hand. Once, I open my eyes his lips are centimeters from mine. My tears continued pouring mixing with the kiss.

"Dan, please stay" Phil whispered in my ear "I don't want to leave you destroyed"
"I don't want to be a burden" I weakly say wiping the blood mixed tears away.
"Why would you be a burden?" he asked

I let the tears dry thinking of the response for what he asked.
"I would be the burden of the boy you let get emotionally destroyed" I replied.
He knew he couldn't reply or fight for me anymore. There is no use.

"Let me do something for you at least" his voiced sounded guilty and tired.
"... what could you do?" I asked
"I could get you therapy. If you don't need it or wan't it, I understand I won't pester you anymore" I could tell he say the right things now. The words that where just right for the occasion.
"That would be good" I smiled "Phil"
"Yeh" he answered
"give me time and space... maybe I will come back" I stood up with shaky legs.

Without a look back I entered the dorms and reminding me of it all. I knock on the door of my room.
"D-Dan?" asked my roommate
"Yeh, It's me" I awkwardly smile
"oh, right, come in" he walked back to his bed and continued his studies. I slowly walk in placing my bags next to my bed.
"Why weren't you here for like almost two months" he asked still staring at his computer screen.

"Long story, really awkward" i said exhaling at the thought of trying to explain what has happened.
"Okay" still no face to face

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Author's Note:
I AM SO SORRY FOR FANS OF THIS STORY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT FOR SO LONG, I've been distracting myself with a lot lately. so please enjoy this TRUST ME THERE ARE STILL MORE CHAPTERS TO COME!
bye bye!!