Breathe, Little Wolf

Chapter 2: Hear Me

El

My dad strode towards our pack house, clearing wanting a conversation away from wolf hearing. Standing debating whether to shift and disappear for an hour or two, I heard my dad's voice in my head.

"Don't even think about it El. My office in five minutes or I'm getting Geron to bring you back here and he can resume sitting on you while we talk."

My wolf deflated at her Alpha's voice, forbidding her from taking me away for a few hours of hunting and freedom. She nudged me towards the pack house, clearly obeying her Alpha's orders, knowing the consequences if we did not. Seeing the internal battle between us, understanding the sense of following his instructions he turned, preceded up the back steps and disappeared through the screen door.

I couldn't see how this could get any worse. I moved slowly, incredibly slowly towards the steps. 'he could have caught us after we bolted' my mind snapped back. Okay, that's true. Very true. Heaving my suddenly heavy feet up each step, I sucked in a deep breath, allowing it to catch the back of my throat giving me that burning sensation. Opening the door, I braced myself to face my dad in his soundproof Alpha's office.

"I though you would have bolted." His voice came out soft, calming, always like that for his little pup.

"You know I thought about it, but my wolf she wouldn't let me... I promised her a run after before the packs arrive." I spoke freely, knowing that my dad allowed it. I walked from the closed door and plopped myself down on the old leather two-seater that sat against the bookcase of our packs history. Lying across it as if I was in a psychiatrist's chair, I waited. Waiting for him to make the first move. Waiting for his usual spiel. Eyes closed, imagining myself running in wolf form, the wind flowing through my fur as I ran faster and faster. Pushing my wolf faster and faster, to her limit... Free. I was jolted out of my thoughts by my feet landing against the hard-oak floor. My dad's impressive Alpha figure towering over me, before taking his seat at the right-hand side of the two-seater. Clearing his throat, my mind raced circling and approaching every feasible way to get out of the situation at hand, coming full circle and exhausting all of my ideas 'suck it up El' was all I got from my mind. I looked up to see my dad's baby blue eyes staring at me. Crap.

"El... I know you hate talking to me but please don't dread what we discuss. I know I've been at you about everything and especially about your mate but it's because I care about you..." he trailed off looking to his desk where a picture of my mum sat.

She was so beautiful. Apparently, I have her features. I don't see it but being pale and blue eyed it's hard to match me with a swarthy tanned, jet black haired woman but if you were to take a photo of her or me and fix the colouration we could be twins. It is quite frightening.

"I know dad, I understand why you try to help me, try to push me to meet more wolves but I am content. I have everyone I need right here..." I whispered not looking up not daring to catch his eye.

"El, I know you are content here. I know you live your life for us and the pack but all your brothers have found their mates, even I once had your mother. El you don't know the feeling having that one person who is made for you..." he spoke so sincerely, so much care in his voice and yet all it did was hurt me and make my wolf howl in pain. Was it my fault the goddess hasn't allowed me a mate, that I haven't found him or her. I had accepted that all happens in time and maybe the moon goddess felt I was needed here before finding my mate. As the years wore on I became more concerned until my 21st birthday when decided that I needed no mate to have a life. If they turned up, of course I would be ecstatic but I was not going to mope and whine. But with my dad's constant reminders my resolve was wearing thin.

"El... El... are you listening?" plucked out of my thoughts, my cheeks reddened and I pulled my bottom lip in realising my dad had been talking to me and I hadn't been pay attention.

"El..." he sighed softly, "I know I'm the big bad wolf when it comes to this stuff," he smirked at his own joke as I released my lip from my teeth and let out a laugh, "but I only want you to experience what I had with your mother. The love, the bond, I wish you to have it, I also know you can't find it here. None of our wolves are your mate, your goddess given soulmate. You need to travel the packs, see the world while you do so and with luck find whoever they may be. Every pack around the world will host you, no one will refuse you, not if they know who you are. I've invited as many packs as I could to this gathering, it's the largest in quite some time. Before you get upset, I didn't mention the mate seeking on the invite, well only the packs' but please El, for me think about it if you don't find them at this gathering please."

My dad meant no harm with his words. He's one of the most respected Alpha's in the region, hell the entire world. He has been since he took over the pack. He is feared, never backing down, never showing weakness. Even when our Luna, my mum died, he mourned and commanded respect. Our whole pack mourned for the loss of their Luna but also for their Alpha who would now raise 7 children on his own and run a pack. I was incredibly young, only about 3 years old at the time, but I remember him. The hollow him, when he no longer had the façade of Alpha. Yet, so many Alpha's and Luna's came across regions and continents to help lay her to rest. One of the highest honours bestowed on any wolf.

He asks me to seek out my mate and I want to but I am not some pup crazed female who wants to settle down and have 10 pups, for goddess sake. I never wanted that life and I still don't. I love having a large family but I have never longed to be a pup-making oven or indeed curl up and cry when I didn't meet my mate at 18 years old. I'm one of very few Alpha blood females. Most lines are forged by only sons, never being blessed with a daughter. I am not weak. I am not a normal wolf. I am an Alpha blood female and I will be respected, unmarked and unmated if it has to be this way.

I went to speak, relaying this mental dialogue to him, that I wouldn't scamper from pack to pack, all of a sudden, his large hands took mine pulling me into his embrace. I looked up questioning him.

"El, you are respected. You have the respect of the whole pack and the neighbouring ones too. You have always had my respect. You are so like your mother. She was an independent wolf. You are so much more than just an Alpha blooded female. You are a brilliant wolf and I for one never thought you would be pup crazed." He grinned at his last few words. I realised he had heard my internal rant, and yet I wasn't upset or angry just relieved. He now understood I wanted a mate but the goddess must have a plan. He wasn't enraged by this. He wasn't going to berate me, he understood. He wanted me to be myself, nothing more and nothing less.

One lone tear escaped my eye as I remembered Micah telling me one day this would happen. That my dad would finally see my side of this. I fought with him as I told him I was leaving to live in the more human world, one without the problems of mates and packs. Just as Micah always did he talked me down and told me that eventually everything would work out. He promised me. He was right. Goddess, Micah you were right and yet you aren't here to see it. I wanted to jump up there and then, leave my dad in my dust and clamber into his cabin and tell him the news, but all that would greet me would be furniture covered in dusty sheets, and memories. I would tell him one day. It would have to wait. Wait until we found him, until he was home. Now however, I needed to pick myself up and take my wolf for a run before the packs arrived .