"Hello?"
"Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.
"But...you called me..."
"Irrelevant"
"Oh, okay. Who is this?"
"Oh it's your baker down the road."
"We don't have a baker...but I'm
sure if we did, they would not call in the middle of the night claiming that I'm the one with the wrong number. "
"Whoops."
"Right, it's one in the morning and I'd appreciate it if you never called again. Goodbye."
ł two minutes later ł
"..."
"Hello?"
"Help! My kitchen is on fire!"
"You know, it's rude to call someone with their kitchen on fire and not even talk to them.
"You called me. And your kitchen is not on fire."
"Ha! Got you talking. And it so is on fire."
"Really? I don't hear any sirens...or crackling...or fire alarms."
"I'm in my neighbors house, and the trucks haven't come yet."
"I'm not stupid. Those aren't even the sirens of a firetruck, it's of the police. Also coincidentally I hear them after I say that? Nice app, kid."
"The police are here but the firemen aren't."
"Firemen are the first responders. Even if it wasn't a fire they would still be there first. Stop lying."
"All right, it was a lie. But you were talking to me, right?"
"Leave me alone. It's one thirty in the morning."
"Aw, come on babe. We can talk a little longer. One thirty is nothing compared to my hundreds of other girlfriends and how late we stayed up having--"
"You irritate me more than people putting puppies in shame cones."
"You seem calm for being so mad."
"That's just my personality. You are genuinely the most disgusting person. I have ever talked to and I need you to stop calling me otherwise I will block you and file a restraining order. Leave me alone, I don't want anything to do with you and your pranks. Hope you and your buddies are happy with the reaction you got from me. Goodbye, again, for good this time."
"I'm not with any--"
click.
"She just needs some time... she'll come around."
"...Right?"
