Jasmin

Chapter 6

Song; Live To Tell by Madonna

Pic is how I picture Jasmin, with more freckles.

Josh still hasn't confronted me with all my lies. Its two days until the start of school and Pat has left. My site is still up but I slowly move my things to the small room I rent from Gretta. I pay rent by helping with the gardening, cooking, cleaning, and snow. The snow is how I meet Gretta as she was trying to clear her walkway of an heavy autumn snow. So stooped and frail in a shawl on a cold clear sunny day I just couldn't just pass by her as I walked to my new site. I had found the perfect spot few prior months as I had to move from closer to downtown. The small park I was at had some new developments pop up down the street as a downtown revitalization and they cleared me and two other kids from the trees, guess people pay more money for housing when they don't have vagrant children in the area. I walked over to the older lady and just took her shovel from her and started to clear the heavy slush on her sidewalk. After shovelling her walk, down to her house and cleared her steps she invited me to have some hot chocolate. Soon I was running errands for her whenever she saw me, giving me drinks and food, and I used her address to get enrolled in the local middle school a few months later. I just started walking to the school with other kids my size and walked into a classroom. It was scary but I so wanted to learn more. It was the middle of the year, I was sent to the office and given paperwork. I wrote my name and said I am suppose to go to school. The phone number I gave was one that was out of service. They let me stay, but the address I gave them had to be verified. I grabbed mail out of Grettas box and used it.

The school sent home a newsletter and then Gretta figured out pretty quickly who was using her mail. She called the school to see if they needed any more information on me, this saved me I later found out, as she said that I was not from the country but a niece from Europe that had just finished grade 4. This explained why all my documentation was unavailable, and explained away some strange gaps that I had in my education. She met up with the office and there was a big to do with officials and everything. I was called up to the office when things were settling down and Gretta just smiled at me and said that these lovely people are getting my information and things will be fine. I almost cried. I hadn't told Gretta anything before about my situation but she just let it go. No police, no councillors, or anything else my nightmares say could of happened. I never asked why she did it for me. Why she didn't turn me in.

She gave me a new birthdate. August 29th. I am now a year and a half younger than I was before. It took me six more months to really get that and was then just starting the next grade. I was so close in size to the grade six kids, and so far behind in the class work that it really didn't affect me too much to be so much older than my classmates. When I was in school years ago I was the youngest in my small class but missing so much in the years on the street allows me to fit in with these younger kids. My whisper voice and lack of knowledge let me get past my lack of a European accent and I was put in some 'help' groups to get me up to speed in the class work. I was in school. I was almost normal. A week after getting me into the school, a cold snap hit, Gretta called me in for some hot chocolate and showed me her daughters old room. I cant stay all the time, nor change anything, but I have a hidden spot in the basement for extras and just sleep in the room. I know at any moment Pat can come visit. I stay and clean and look after Gretta. She calls me her godsend sometimes, and I am never ungrateful to this wonderful old woman.

My biggest clue as to why Gretta would keep my secret was in Grade 8. We had a family history assignment and Gretta let me ask her a few questions. She let me know her name was changed at a young age and that she was adopted by a German family and moved to Canada after World War 2. She said some secrets are ok. And looking after others is what people do in life. It was the first and last time we spoke of it and I will never bring it up again. I say the sadness in her and hated that I had been a reminder of a bad time. The next day we made a big batch of cookies and all was buried.

I use my tips to buy groceries when her old age money isn't enough. She showed me how to garden and preserve food for the winter. Her life hasn't been that easy either. I do love the old woman. I hope she enjoys the life she has. Last spring she ended up in the hospital and I couldn't even visit as no one else in her life knows I exist. Pat came up and looked after the house. When she was at the hospital I looked after our garden in the hopes that Gretta would come home soon. I was so scared for her. After three weeks Pat finally went home and I could check on Gretta. Her first words were to ask after her backyard. I was so happy I had gotten everything planted and watered for her. She smiled up at me and patted my hand, made my whole soul shine. I know staying with her is not forever. I remind myself of that all the time, we are friends who are helping each other, benefiting each other. That is all.

...

My last day at the restaurant is this afternoon. The day manager seems off. She calls me into her cramped office as I am finishing up transferring my tables to the evening waiter. Her blazer jacket is flung on the chair behind her and her hair in a huge bun perched atop her head.

"Well Roxy you had a great run here. We hope for nothing but the best for you at school. The team got together and got you a small going away gift."

"What, you shouldn't have." I never heard of other staff getting anything. We go through staff like all restaurants. Like a swinging door. The fact I lasted two full years is good for them, I guess. This is very unexpected.

"Just a thank you, you were an excellent worker, give my name to anyplace as a reference. Just tell me what name you will be going by for that." She is not looking at me, just at her desk. It was said like she had practiced 'deadpan' in a mirror. She is one of a few different managers depending on the time. She was appointed manager not long after I had started working here.

"Whats that?" I start sucking air, slowly in and slowly out. Don't mess up, remember what you learned. Keep a cool head. She looks up at me slowly as I pull myself together in a matter of seconds. I know my eyes went hard. Its reflex. Another breath and I can smile my waitress smile.

"Roxy's parents called when they got audited this spring. I changed a few things on your file and it went away. Glad I wont have to do that again though. This is a large company with a lot of transient workers who come and go quickly. If you give me a name I will not put it on any file. Just in case anyone calls for a reference. Your are 19, an adult. I think you can handle things fine."

"Jasmin Thompson." I say after a long pause, assessing her words. Loud enough to hear, clear, hard. No apologies. Having a reference is essential in a job search. This will help me get a good job later, I have to trust her.

"Alright Roxy, here is your final bonus, you have been putting in some money in the company RRSP fund and I removed it for you yesterday. That is all."

She hands me two envelopes. I don't even look at them. Its time to leave. Deep breath, shake hands and thanks. I thought leaving after over two years would be hard, but after that meeting I will miss my coworkers but am happy to be gone. I start shaking after walking two blocks and need to stop on a bench to pull myself together. Thank goodness she thought I was an adult. I knew after my first week when Jessica helped me to look above my age (supposedly 17) to get better tips, that a makeup lesson was in order. It drained my tips pretty bad in the beginning to get what I needed, but Jess helped me a few times and I really can pull off a mature look. With my stamina and work ethic no one ever thought I was really only 15. Though the shift from a grade 8 student at school to an working adult wasn't the easiest at times, I knew what I had to do. Acting comes second nature to me by now. And having the clothes and makeup made it easier.

I smile to myself as I get off the bench and turn to walk. One step closer to only being Jasmin. Less acting. I walk with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.