Once More, With Squealing: A Buffy Fanfic

Passion Victim

On her walk to The Bronze, singing about Spike's spire, Buffy Summers had come to a realization. She'd been spending her post-resurrection days missing Heaven, and one angel in particular, but now, thanks to this spell, she'd become aware there was something she missed so much more, something she'd never find in Heaven. Despite their perfection, with their lack of genitalia, those angels were no Spikes (or even Angels).

She looked over at The Bronze's stage and saw the demon she'd come to slay - a voluptuous crimson-skinned demon relaxing on a comfy leather chair, with Dawn lying on the ground beside her. Buffy had been afraid that the demon might have mistreated her sister, but it looked like she'd not only put her in an exotic slavegirl outfit almost as tasteful as Buffy's own red leather ensemble, but had also given her a stylish black studded collar connected to a leash. It looked like the demon was taking real good care of Dawn, though, as usual, her sister seemed ungrateful.

Buffy walked towards the stage, sensing the demon's henchpenises gathering around her in the shadows, while keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the curvaceous demon.

The demon's eyes were also glued to Buffy. "Love your entrance," she purred, leaning forward and stroking Dawn's hair.

"How are you with death scenes?" Buffy replied.

The demon laughed. "Prefer sex scenes - that's what we're dressed for. Besides, I abhor dying, I've got people who do that for me."

"You got a name?" Buffy asked.

"It's long and hard," the demon announced. "That's the one part of me you won't be able to get your tongue around."

"Well, I oughta know what to call you if you're gonna be my sister-in-law," Buffy continued, trying to ignore the demon's innuendo, trying not to think of Spike and his fabulous flesh flute that she could play all through the night.

"Buffy, I swear I didn't do it," Dawn protested, bringing Buffy back to reality and the reason she'd come here.

"Don't worry," she told Dawn, "I'm sure she'll take good care of you. She's already improved your wardrobe."

"What?" exclaimed Dawn, being her typical selfish self, not seeing the big picture and the importance of restoring her sister's sex life.

"Deal's this:" Buffy explained to the demon, "I can't kill you, you take my sister, and restore Spike to his former phallic glory."

"I'd prefer a threesome," the demon said, as her gaze moved between the two sisters.

"That's not going to happen," said Buffy. She could understand why the demon would rather have her than Dawn, but there was no way Buffy was sharing Spike.

"No threesome?" said the disappointed demon. "You come in here dressed like a ho and you really expect me to believe that?"

"I think you already know…" Buffy said, and then continued in song:

I'm no ho though I sure know their arts

And when the foreplay starts

I open up my parts

Unlacing her red leather corset, she continued singing:

Up all night and riding on Spike's schlong

He's hung like King Kong

But now his thing's all wrong

The henchpenises readied for an attack, struggling to pick up pool cues with the arms they didn't have - they were clearly designed for love not war. Precariously balancing the cues on their heads, they leapt on her but she whacked them off, with blow after tremendous blow, as she continued her song, beating them off in time to the music: