Roommates

Opposites Attract

Four
Late October

The only good thing about English Lit is the fact that Tris and Marlene are in my class. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but this current unit... ugh. We're currently studying poetry and I hate poetry, or at least studying it in school, because I just... don't... get it. I've been sitting in front of my laptop screen for an hour and a half and I am nowhere near done with this paper. My back is stiff and my eyes are too dry. I need a break.

Really, I should probably ask Tris to help me. We are writing on different topics, but she seems to get this stuff, and I'm sure just discussing it with her for a few minutes would help a lot. Then again, we're barely back on speaking terms.

I feel awful about what I said to her that night. I was angry, I felt cornered by her remarks, and I lashed out. The thing is, I am struggling with the apology part, because I would be lying if I said I didn't mean it. I still think what I said was true. Unfortunately, I understand why she acts that way around him. It isn't that different from my response to Marcus. When I tried to talk to her a few weeks earlier, the kind and supportive route didn't get me far, but I really doubt Tris will still see me as an option to talk to if she ever is ready, after that outburst.

The other reason is that I'm afraid she will bring up Marcus again, and I don't want to talk about him. Then I realize, again, what a jackass I am-- she told me her secrets, she showed me her emotional scars, she trusted me with all that... and I haven't trusted her with anything in return. I believe that Tris is worth trusting. I'm just too much of a coward to try and get the words out, and I am too afraid of how she might look at me afterward. I am not as brave as Tris is.

Sitting here staring at this screen while getting nothing done is only making my back stiffer. I need a break. I close the laptop and rip my earbuds out of my ears. I didn't even realize that Tris and Eric were home, but now that I am no longer drowning everything else out with music, I hear their voices. Perfect-- I can ask Tris to help me with this essay.

I'm about to get up when I realize how controlled and even Tris's voice is. It sounds off, like she is being very careful that she stays calm and emotionless. I'm not sure I should interrupt. But they are speaking to each other on the other side of the paper-thin wall, so it isn't hard to make out what they are saying. I shouldn't try.

I listen anyway.

"Eric, you have put me off long enough. I need you to text Peter back and tell him you'll hang out with him another time, and I need you to stay here and give me the attention I deserve. 'Tomorrow' was two days ago." My breath actually hitches in my throat. I have rarely heard Tris ever stand up to Eric at all, let alone sound so firm and serious.

Eric mumbles something I can't understand, and Tris's voice follows, clear but weary. "We need to talk, Eric, because I can't do this anymore."

And just like that, my heart is pounding trying to break right through my ribcage, I feel almost kind of like I am floating. I don't like her being with him. He's not good enough for her. She deserves someone who will bring her favorite sandwich on her lunch break and watch the movies she likes and make a priority of the things that are important to her. And above all, she deserves someone who treats her with respect, someone who sees how amazing she is.

She deserves it because she does all those things for someone who won't return the favor.

"What's that supposed to mean? Do what?"

"Well, if you'll have a fucking conversation with me, you'll know. I'm honestly disgusted that you're making this so damn difficult, Eric. You're on some pretty fucking thin ice as it is," Tris hisses.