She could feel the empty air from the moment she walked into their shared apartment. She dropped her head down, closing her eyes as she let out a sigh.
He wasn't home again.
It had been 3 days since the last time they talked to each other. It was right after he walked out on her after they had the biggest fight of their 2 years relationship. Having small fights about little things in a relationship happened once in a while. And of course, fighting between a couple was considered normal. But over the last month, their fight became more and more frequent. From once in a month, turned into twice, thrice, to a point where there was no day passed without having an argument with one another.
This time round, it was also the first time she heard her boyfriend shouted at her and left her standing alone in their living room. Without looking back. He slammed their front door and left the house.
She waited there. In the cold living room where their arguments last.
However, no matter how long she waited there. The two arms that usually came to embrace her into his hug never came. Neither, the warmth presence of his hand on her cheeks to wipe her tears away. Not even his low and sweet voice that was always whispering his sorry into her ears.
She knew their relationship was not heading into a healthy direction. She could feel the end of the rope. She hung her head low and massaged her temples, afraid of her own negative thoughts that seemed so real.
She walked into their shared bedroom. Put her stuff down before she decided to take a shower to clear her mind from negativity and freshen herself.
It was when she walked outside the bathroom, she heard the front door of their shared apartment closed. She quickly threw his oversized t-shirt on her, which she had been using since the day he left their home. And went out to see her boyfriend, Park Jimin, stood there before her in the living room, awkwardly looking at her while he kept his face expressionless.
She missed him. A lot.
She wanted to run into his arms to hug him. But she was afraid, what if all the thoughts she had earlier was true? What if this was the last day she would see him in their apartment? What if he came back only to break up with her? What if he was here only to take his belongings? What if he came only to tell her he found his happiness in another place?
So, she stayed there. Unmoved.
3 minutes.
He still stood there. Looking at her with two pairs of sad eyes.
5 minutes.
Both of them kept standing there looking at each other, keeping the distance between themselves. Afraid to make a wrong move. Knowing that in this situation anything could possibly ruin their messy relationship.
7 minutes.
He closed both of his eyes and lower his head down. He looked fragile, broken, just like her. She felt like she was looking at her own reflection.
"Are you not going to say anything?" She finally broke the silence.
He raised his head up, upon hearing her voice. He missed that.
He missed how her voice rang into his ears. He missed her soothing voice calling his name. He missed her welcoming arms whenever he went home after his tight schedules. He missed her worried texts when he came home later than scheduled. He missed her random kisses when he came home after being away for tours. He just missed her. He missed everything about her. Did she also miss him? He thought to himself. Jimin knew he was at fault. Which is why he was here, back into their shared apartment to fix the mess he made. To make her back into his arms.
Yet, he was too afraid to make a move.
Thinking back to what he did.
He was tired after his packed schedules. He came home late, expecting he would get a welcoming hug from his girlfriend after a long day. But turned out, she was waiting for him with hands folded on her chest and furious expression plastered on her face. She threw the headline in front of his face as she accused him for cheating with his own stylish. The article said 'Park Jimin is Dating His Stylish' with weird angled pictures taken by paparazzi on it. It was not true. He would never cheat on her. Still, no matter how hard he tried to explain to her. She did not seem to listen to his words. Her stubbornness got him upset. To a point where Jimin lost his cool that he ended up shouting in front of her face, telling her to shut up and admitting that she was no better than his stylish. He saw the tears that streaming down on her face. He saw how her body trembled from the shook. It hurt him to see her breaking down in front of him. But his anger carried him away that he decided to turn his back on her and left.
"I miss you." He said, his voice sounds very low as if he did not have his confidence. She looked at him. That was the moment she realized, her boyfriend looked so vulnerable in front of her. Unlike few days ago when he looked horrifying and very intimidating that her whole body shuddered when he lashed his anger on her. Just thinking back of that sight of him got her breath hitch in her throat.
He sighed and continued speaking in a brittle voice as if he was about to break down. "I'm scared. I am scared of losing you. I'm afraid you do not want to see me anymore. I shouted at you. I feel so bad. I never meant any of the things I said that night. But I had just to leave you there. I could not bear to see your face. Having the thought of you hating me, of you calling off our relationship kills me each time. It was the least I want to happen. I can not let it happen. I-" He paused, gathered his courage and walked towards her, reducing the gap between them. He took both of her hands on his cold ones.
"I would never cheat on you, baby." While looking straight right into her eyes. She could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I would never cheat on you." He repeated, enveloping her whole body into his arms. He missed this. He missed her familiar scent surrounding him. He missed how her body clashed into his. It felt right.
"How could I cheat on you when you had me wrapped around your fingers. I love you so much I would never do that." He said, dropping his head on her shoulder. His voice sounded so fragile, wishing she could believe the truth that he said and let him fix all the mess.
"I'm sorry, baby. Please forgive me." Jimin pleadingly said to her, tightening the hug around her body. She missed him as much that all of her anger suddenly evaporated. She missed him too much that it was enough to make her disappointments instantly disappeared. Right then, she circled her hands around his waist to return his hug, burying her face on his chest.
"Jimin." She murmured. "I already did. From the moment you walked into our home I already did. I missed you so much. Please don't leave me again." She pulled out a bit, just enough to see his face. Not wanting to loss a single distance from her boyfriend. Jimin had a slight smile appeared on his lips, upon hearing her telling him not to leave her. Just a one single sentence melted all of his worries away. So does her negative thoughts. It was just them, looking at each other, realizing how much they actually need and love one another.
Jimin leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.
"Never." He promised, touching his lips with her lips before he pressed his lips for a kiss.
