Prologue
"No! Don't do this to yourself! Babe you mean the world to me." He cried out. I didn't believe him though. "It's an addiction Spence! I can't stop. "I reply crying. "Kristi hand me the razor blade and I'll get rid of it." I take his hand but don't hand over the blade. I instead cut five more slashes into my skin.
"No!" Spence cries out. The blade drops from my bloody hand and I fall forward. Spence catches me and everything goes black. When I come to I'm in an ambulance. Spence is sitting beside me and I sigh looking sadly at my cuts. They aren't deep but there are many of them and this is the second time this month I've gone to the hospital for cutting myself.
Spence looks into my eyes and he has tears in his eyes. He hugs me tightly then says "Baby you almost bled out! I was so worried." I look down at the sheets and begin to sob. Spence leans over and kisses me gently. I look up at him and put my hands on his face. He smiles at me.
He looks up as the ambulance stops. The door slams then the back doors open up. The EMT's pull my gurney out of the ambulance and into the hospital. Spence quickly followed me into the room where they put me. He sits down next to my bed. I lean over and lay my head on his shoulder while he strokes my hair.
The nurse walks in a few seconds later. She takes my blood pressure and asks questions. Just then my parents along with Natalia Jacobs my intensive in-home counselor come in. Mom is sobbing and Dad looks worried. Natalia looks pretty pissed off and worried. Spence glances around and looks anxious.
"You told me you would try Kristi! You told me you got rid of the stuff!" Natalia cries out to me. "But... but I..." I stammer my reply. "What did you do Kristi? Tried? No you didn't! If you had we wouldn't be here right now!" she says angrily. Mom looks into my teary eyes. I look at her then quickly look away. Spence holds my hand.
Natalia then turns on Spence and starts yelling at him. "Why didn't you stop her!? Why didn't you knock the blade out of her hand?! What kind of boyfriend are you?!" she yells. Spence gets up angrily. He shouts back "I didn't know what was going on?!"
"She had gone upstairs!" Spence cries out. "Natalia this is completely out of order!" I scream. Mom and Dad slowly back out of the room. I sit up in the bed and say "Look Ms. Jacobs Spence didn't know!" then I lay back down. While Natalia's not looking I gently place my hand on the tiny bump of my bell and smile gently.
Spence glances over at me and he smiles at me. I hear the door open and we look over. The doctor walks in. He comes over to the bed and examines my cuts. Then looking at Natalia he politely asks her to leave. She gets up and stalks out of the room slamming the door behind her.
Then the doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" We say the bad news first. "Well your girlfriend here almost got herself killed by cutting herself all up! She will have to stay here for the night." I look at Spence and begin to cry. He comes over and hugs me. The doctor then says "The good news is that you're going to have a baby."
Spence and I look at each other in shock. "Whoa I thought that I was just..." I falter. Spence looks at me in disbelief. "You... You knew...? You knew and you didn't tell me?! "Well no not really but I kinda had an idea."
