I have recently been really worried about one of my friend in India. She is such a great person, always fun to be around with, but still every day at school she's struggling. People can sometimes be so mean to others, especially high schoolers. We can so easily be influenced by other people. There are so many people in her life who are simply the nicest to her when they are alone but as soon as one of their other friends show up, they become the meanest people to her. The worst part of it all is that she can't tell about it to anyone else besides me. I am the only one who knows that all this stuff is happening in her life.
I wanted to tell her about something I personally went through, which might help her understand. I wanted to call her but due to a certain issue, I wasn't able to. Therefore, I decided to write her a letter.
Dear Gina,
How are you? I felt like sending you a letter because I know you're going through a lot of terrible things in life right now. But, I just want you to know that I'll always be there for you no matter what. I obviously won't be able to be there physically but I'll always be there spiritually, by your side.
You know how in India my mum was a teacher at our school, therefore, I always had advantages because everyone wanted to be friends with me. On my first day itself, I already knew half of the class, therefore, I obviously wasn't able to understand anything that you were going through. But, now I do.
When I first came here to Australia, it was a completely a different world for me. I still remember on my first day at school I was so scared and nervous as it was the first time I had even been to a girls' school, I just didn't know what to expect from anyone or anything. It wasn't easy to start a life all over again. That whole year 8 I spent all alone, I didn't have any friends or anything.
There were some people who I used to sit with during recess and lunch but that's it, with them it was like I never really existed, they never really tried to include me into their group, I was always ignored. I never felt like I ever belonged to them. Therefore, as time went I stopped sitting with them. One of the rules in my school is that during recess and lunch, you have to go out the school building if you want to eat. Because of that rule, I stopped eating at school because every time I went outside, I would see all these people having fun and enjoying their meal with their friends and I used to end up feeling depressed as I was all alone with no friends. No matter how much I starved I won't eat.
You know how talkative I am (obviously), but during that year I used to hardly even say a single word to anyone because I always felt like none of those girls at my school wanted to talk to me and I was interrupting their life. There were days when I never said anything at all. It was all really hard, especially for that 13-year-old me.
It took me a while to realise that the main reason why I went through all of that stuff was that back when I was in India, in year 7, I didn't notice that you were feeling the exact same thing as I did in year 8 in Australia. The main reason why you felt that way was because of me, I was so busy impressing the people who didn't even matter or who never were my REAL friends by hurting you. Those people don't even talk to me anymore but there's you who texts me every single day and asks me how am I doing. It is probably the worst feeling in the world when you make someone go through hell but they still care so much about you. I clearly am a terrible person.
But, God always gives everyone a chance to change themselves and he gave one to me too.
After that whole year 8 experience, I don't know something happened to me in year 9 and I just changed completely as a person. I just became so much more of friendly person and I made so many new friends. One thing that happened to me was that when I was new in that school I never really had anyone who came up to me or approached me and asked to be friends with me. No one invited me to sit with them during lunch. But, since year 9, I have never let anyone feel the way I felt. I am so proud of myself that I didn't let anyone else feel the way I did in year 8. Every single new student that has joined this school and was in my class, I have approached to them and invited them to sit with me and my friends during lunch and told them that they can ask us any question they have or about any problem.
Probably, the only thing I regret is hurting you, it is something that I'll always be guilty of no matter what. I hate myself for even making you go through something so terrible as that. I cry every time I even think about my year 8 experience; I can't believe you have felt that way for your whole high school life.
One thing I want you to know is that everyone that made you go through terrible stuff in life would pay for what they did to you like I did. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I don't want you to dwell in the spot that you are in right now.
I just hope that no matter what I made you feel like in the past, I'll always be someone who will always be there for you, supporting you and encouraging you. You'll always be one of my greatest friends and I can never thank God enough for you and everything you've ever done for me.
Take care of yourself.
Love you,
Vaidehi.
