'You'll be okay,' I repeated the lie within my head like a ritual chant. My fingers trembled on the hem of my shirt. My whole body shook as I made my way down the hospital corridor. 'He'll be okay.' Another lie I spoon-fed myself. Why did I even bother?
"Room 136," The blond nurse whom escorted me to the room smiled grimly at me. She knew very well that time was almost up.
I felt my heart drop into my stomach. The person sprawled on the hospital bed was no stranger. He was my friend, my family, my brother. It was difficult to shuffle my feet into the room. The atmosphere crushed every sentence I formed in my head. All the air in the room was slipping away; I couldn't breathe, but I knew it was my imagination. I quietly pulled a chair beside his bed. The heart monitor felt like a ticking time bomb. I tried to subside my prediction, but it was hard. All the swirling emotions bursting inside my chest weren't stable. I was like a pirate with one leg.
I took my brother's hand in mine. He seemed sound asleep.
"Hey," I spoke slowly. Bursts of emotion flared inside my chest. What was I going to do? I stifled a sob. "This might be the last time we speak, I hear. You should've been wiser, Kris. Maybe you shouldn't of overdosed yourself because life really does get better..."
His figure smeared into the rest of his surroundings. Hot tears swelled and pooled over, running down my cheeks. I wiped beneath my eye with my free hand. I didn't want him to die. His forest green eyes burned holes into my memory. His personality was etched onto my brain. He would be with me forever, but not quite.
I brushed his shaggy brunette hair away from his ashen complexion. "I love you, Kris. No matter what." Two, three, four, a copious amount of tears spilled from my eyes. I could taste the salt in my tears. "As idiotic and reckless you were, I always loved you." I leaned in and gently kissed his forehead. "Good-bye, Kris."
A straight line ran on his heart monitor. I couldn't breathe.
He was gone.
