Waiting for Never

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Lana awoke, eyes slowly coming to focus on the naked bulb above. She was dimly aware of her body being rigid and straight - no movement possible. Pulling her head upward she could see thick straps over her arms and legs. Saliva pooled in the back of her throat and she swallowed, panicked. More saliva came and over and over she drank it down so as not to panic. She started twisting her limbs turning them, feeling the friction of the fabric against her skin. She tried to yell but only chokes of agony would make their away out. She began struggling sweat beginning to bead on her forehead, she had tired herself out. Her head fell back on the rock hard pillow as her aching muscles began to relax. She let out a huff of frustration. No more than eight feet in any dimension, the inside of Lana's cell is an eerie - and somewhat grotesque - testament to the woman's sudden headlong plunge into madness. Harsh lines of blood and charcoal cover the walls, forming a bizarre web of overlapping mental images and writing that was almost painful to look at. She was not mad, she wasn't sick, she simply was homosexual. She hadn't committed any crime but the crime of loving another woman.

A thick boston accent echoed down the hallway, sending an instant shudder down her spine.

Judy Martin. Sister Jude. Head Nun of Briarcliff. The woman who had locked her up.

Her face appeared through the wired netting in the little square peep hole in the door. The metal door swung open and Jude ushered in her puppy dog Frank following behind her. She smirked at Lana, the evil grin that Lana hated.

"Miss Winters, glad to see you have settled in." Jude hissed flashing a teethy smile. Lana stayed quiet avoiding eye contact.

"Well, Anyways its time for your hydrotherapy session, Frank unlatch her." Jude commanded

"Yes sister." Frank mumbled walking past her over Lana's bed. This was the perfect time for her to escape, play good until both her feet and hands are unlatched push over Frank and run out past Jude.  Her skin itched with anxiety as she waited to be unbuckled.   Her feet and her hands were free.  She slowly sat up and placed her feet on the cool floor, she stood and looked at Frank.  She quickly pushed him into the wall and tumbled to the ground she turned quickly to ren out the the door but bumped into Jude's tough frame and tumbled back landing on the hard concrete floor.   Lana looked up at Jude and saw the smirk she always hated. Instantly she new she was in deep shit.

Judy reached her hand down, Lana was in shock for a minute. But she shook it off and grabbed her hand, Jude helped her up and their eyes met. For a minute Lana though she saw a glint of light spark in Judy's eyes, but was quickly replaced by darkness when Frank gripped around Lana's waist holding her tightly so she couldn't move.

"Sister, what are we gonna do with this one." Frank asked.

There was a moment of silence. Jude pinched the arch between her eyebrows and let out a huff.

"Miss Winters clearly is suffering...." Lana let out a sigh of relief thinking Jude was sparing her this time.
"Send her to Arden, electric shock should do her good." Jude avoided eye contact with Lana.

"Sister, please no, I can't do that again. PLEASE!! DONT LEAVE PLEASE I CANT DO IT AGAIN!" Lana cried as Sister Jude left her cell. Judy could no longer see Lana but she could hear her crying and begginf not to let Arden do it to her. Jude walked with her head high fighting hard against tears that threated to fall. She returned to her office and took a seat at her desk.  Slowly she began to rub her temples and let out a deep breath.

"I can't keep doing this." She said to herself.
"I hurt way to many people." Jude placed her elbows on her desk and covered her face letting her tears flow freely. 
"Lana." She said loudly.  Quickly she got up from her desk almost jogging to Ardens office.  She burst through the door and yelled stop.  Lana was laying with the leather in her mouth strapped to the table. 

"Frank, please bring Mrs. Winters to my office."

Frank nodded beginning to unbuckle Lana.

"But Sister we were about ready." Arden almost whined.

"Save it for another day." Jude replied sternly.  Frank unbuckle Lana and brought her to her feet.  Jude turned and walked out of the room Lana and Frank following behind her as she lead them to her office. 

"That will be all Frank, thank you."

"Bu- Jude put her hand up.

"Have a nice night." She said closing her office door.  She stayed with her back turned to Lana for a few moments before turning around and heading for her desk.  She sat down and faced Lana.  She gestured to the chair in front of her and she took a seat.

"Are you okay?" Jude asked softly.  Lana's brows crinkled with confusion.  Why was Jude being so nice to her.

"Yea, for now."  She replied avoiding eye contact busying herself by playing with her thumbs.  The room stayed silent for a good 5 minutes before Lana broke the silence.

"Can I go back to my room." She hissed.

Shocked at her sudden mood change Jude gave her a stern look.

"I suppose..." She replied in the harch voice Lana knew.  She now felt bad for being rude, because Jude was trying to help, a side she had never seen from the old battle axe.  Lana got up and walked to the door and turned the knob, but let go of it letting the door close again.

"Sister." Lana asked.  Jude looked up at her and nodded.

"Why did you change your mind?" Lana asked leaning her back against the door.

Jude looked down at her desk and began fidgeting with loose papers on her desk. 

"I need....to stop hurting people..." She said with a hint of hurt in her voice.  Lana nodded and let out a sigh leaving Jude's office. Is there anything worse than institutionalized love? It isn't love at all.