I hadn't meant to hurt him... Jayden looked intntly into my eyes. "I don't hate you, and I never have," I repeated. A tear escaped his warm brown eyes.
"Then why'd you do it?... Leave me, I mean." My hear boiled to those words. It felt as if a rush of pain hit me in the chest. I didn't want to remember it. I was foolish for believeing what others told me when I should've belived him.
"I... I don't know..." I breathelessly respond. "I didn't know what I was thinking. I should've believed you." He breathed out, yet no reply was spoken. I felt guilty as I watched him tremble. This is my fault. I did this to him. Never in my life have I seen him so... So broken.
The memories came back to me. It was May of lat year. It has been 5 months with him. We were the happiest people in the world, no matter what our gender may be. All I know is that he was practically the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I was the best thing that has ever happened to him. Yeah... my life was perfect, until the lies entered my life.
I remember one day, I was sitting near a group of ditzy girls. They were blabbing on about their boyfriends. "OMG! Like, Daniel is soooooooooo cute! He gave me, like, a ring the other day!" I hear one girl squeal. It irratated me, but I did nothing about it. All of a sudden, I hear the same squeaky girl ask another one of her friends a question. "Ugh! KENDRA! You haven't talked the whole time about your boyfriend! What cute things does HE do for you!? Tee-hee!"
"Well, uhmm..." The girl had a dirty blond hair color. She quietly sat there with an innocent sparkle in her eyes. "He's the sweetest. The other day, he came over to my house just to give me flowers and goodnight kiss... And uh... He also sang me a song. There was no special occasion either," she warmly smiled. Her voice was so loving. Envy filled my head as I snooped. The only sweet thing that Jayden has ever done for me was... I don't remember. I continued to listen to the group of girls chat amonst themselves.
"Awwhhh! That is SO TOTALLY ADORABLE!! I wish Chad did that for me!" I hear another girl screech, "What's his name again?"
The girl gently smiled. "Jayden. Jayden Tuck." I bit my lip so hard that it bled. I didn't want to believe it. What was going on? Are they talking about MY Jayden? I shut my eyes and exhaled. walking away as fast as I could. I was furious, angry, frustrated, yet... So hurt. I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I hated him at the time... But at the same time, I didn't want to accept the fact that I loved him with all my heart.
That night, I talked to Jayden on the phone. I was furious. I yelled. I shouted. I did everything I possibly could to scold him, but it didn't help me feel any better. Jayden, on the other hand, was so shocked on the other line. Nothing came out from the other end of the phone; only the trembling words, "It's not true." Right then, it was over. I ended it. I ended not only the call, but everything that had to do with him. The last thing I remember saying was, "I hate you. Never talk to me again. You lying, cheating asshole." He was out of my life...
I regret that day. Weeks later, I found out that the things that little blondie said about Jayden were complete lies to impress her friends. Everyone heard what he "supposedly" did to me and rarely spoke to him ever again. Every time I saw him, he was alone. The guilt ate me alive. I felt foolish, but I had already told Jayden that I never wanted to see him again. Why was I so stupid?
Can you believe this was all a MONTH ago, too? "Alexander..." he lets out. I stared at him. "I never did it. I don't even know her, Alex..."
"I know that..." I say with no emotion.
"Why are you out her anyway? How did you find me here?" I looked down at the river below the bridge with him.
"You haven't been at school for several days... I was just... I was just worried. You haven't been seen by ANYONE at all lately. Its like... It's like you disappeared... I-I had a feeling you were going to do something dangerous."
Jayden looked up from the river. "You were looking for me?... You mean, you didn't just find me here by coincidence?"
I nodded my head. "I was actually heading to your house to apologize; to see you... Your mother... Your mother answered the door with tearful eyes. She yelled at me. She told me to go away and to never come back. I figured something went wrong. I know you Jayden. Don't feel bad. I did this to you. And what you're doing right now...? This isn't the way to go. If anyone should pass, it should be--"
"How long have you been searching for me?" he cuts me off.
"A while."
"Can I ask you something?" I hesitated but nodded my head anyway. "Was it easy? Was it easy to just walk away from me and to believe the lies that weren't true?" I bit my lower lip, as usual. I said nothing. "Alexander... I'm sorry..."
I raised an eyebrow and turned to him. "For?" At that moment, he quickly gave me a tight hug and never let go.
"I'm just sorry for scaring you... For ever considering to commit suicide," he speaks. I forced out a smile, inhaling his aroma as we embraced. I then swiftly let go of him. "I'm sorry," he repeats. I gave him a calm look. His eyes held innocence; desperation
I gave him a light kiss on the forehead. "It's not you're fault."
