"Syrus..." he was smiling from ear to ear when he came to our house.
Syrus is an ideal boyfriend. A responsible and caring type of man. Lahat handa niyang gawin at kaya niyang gawin. And that's why I love him so much. Ever since we started at the age of 17, he making me feel how wonderful it is to be loved by someone. Hindi man ganoon ka perpekto ang relasyon namin sa tatlong taon, he is still the one I want to spend my whole life with.
Both sides ay wala ng problema sa mga magulang namin. Wle are supporting each other in all ways. He is a basketball player- or should I say the best basketball player in town.
I was one of his fans back then. Tagatili kapag na shoot niya ang bola. But my advantage is that, we're neighbors and very good friends. Bata pa lang kami ay magkasama na kami maglaro sa dagat, manghuli ng isda o mga sisid sa dagat, palaging magkasama umuwi. Lahat ng tao sa isla ay tinutukso kami, bata pa lang kami hindi na namin maiwan ang isa't isa. Best friends? Parang hindi naman kami ganoon.
I was fourth year high school ng niligawan niya ako. They won the championship game and he courted me in front of many people. Imagine, bata pa kami nun! But one thing I admire Syrus is his maturity. Since day one up to now, he is matured in every situation. Positive thinker and always optimistic.
Niyakap naman ako ni Syrus ng nakalapit siya sa akin. Because of the news I've heard, niyakap ko rin siya ng sobrang higpit.
I know how he loves basketball. It's his passion and first love. Simula noon maraming kumukuha sa kanya sa mga Unibersidad sa Maynila pero ayaw niya dahil daw hindi niya ako kayang iwan at ang isla. Of course at first masarap sa pakiramdam but I don't want Syrus to stay here. Hindi man mahirap ang isla when in fact we're rich in livelihood but I want Syrus to follow his dreams and have a better future at Manila.
I am an Education student and he is a Business Administration student. We are both graduating. Pero lilipad si Syrus ng Maynila pagkatapos ng first sem na ito para sa isang University na kumuha sa kanya. I pushed him to sign and his parents did too. Wala namang mawawala kung pupunta siya.
One month ago, when I told him to pursue his degree and career at Manila, I promised and gave myself to him. It was magical, after three years in relationship, Syrus and I made love. It was the most happiest night of my life.
"Kumain ka na ba, Hope?" tanong niya. Tumango naman ako.
"Umiyak ka ba?" tanong niya at hinawakan ang pisngi ko.
I wanted to graduate with my degree and marry Syrus. Iyon talaga ang pangarap ko sa buhay.
"Hope?" tawag niya. I can't help but to cry. Niyakap ko naman siya at umiyak.
For sure iisipin niya ay dahil ito sa pag-alis niya next month. But no. It is different and very serious matter. Kanina ng nalaman ko halos hindi ako makapaniwala.
"Hope. Anong nangyari?" he tried holding my face again but I refuse. I just want to hug him because he is giving me comfort all the time.
"Hope? May nangyari ba? May nagawa ba ako? Sabihan mo ako. Shit! Kinakabahan ako eh. Hope, hindi mo naman ako iiwan diba?" kung normal na araw ay tatawanan ko siya kasi nagiging paranoid na naman siya.
I will never do that, Syrus!
Syrus is making sure every thing is fine every day. Ayaw niyang nag-aaway kami kaya minsan kahit simpleng tampuhan ay sinusuyo niya kaagad ako kahit ako pa ang may kasalanan. Syrus is always there for me, he always got me. That's why I am blessed to have him. Wala na akong hinihiling pa.
"Boss naman. Wag namang ganyan." I still can't say it. It's like taking his dream away from him. He is one step closer but because of me parang babalik siya sa simula ulit. I know him too well. Kung ako ang masusunod gusto ko habang ganito ang sitwasyon doon lang siya sa Maynila.
All I did was cry and cry. Pinapasok niya naman ako sa bahay pero hindi pa rin ako natigil sa kakaiyak. He gave me a glass of water and caress my back. Hinalikan niya naman ako sa sentido at tinatanong kung may kasalanan ba siya sa akin.
"Wala nga." mahinang sabi ko habang na sa baso ang mga mata ko.
Our parents gave their full trust to us. Masaya sila dahil finally makakamit na ni Syrus ang pangarap niya. Lahat ng tao sa isla ay gustong-gusto na pumunta si Syrus sa Maynila. Prestigious school and a basketball player of a popular team.
"Syrus..." tawag ko at tiningnan siya. His soft eyes are telling me a warning. Hindi ko naman siya iiwan eh! Sobrang paranoid talaga niya.
"Sy-Syrus..."
"Hope, tell me. Ano nangyari?"
"B-Bu-Buntis ako..." I said and it was like a whisper. Kung hindi siya sobrang lapit sa akin ay baka hindi pa niya iyon narinig.
Ilang beses kaming sinabihan na dalawa na wag magmadali dahil malapit na kaming mag graduate and opportunities are knocking on Syrus' door. But we were stubborn.
"Syrus..." naiiyak kong sabi at niyakap siya.
I felt him hug me back kaya mas lalo akong naiyak. Sa tatlong taon namin magkasama, I memorize him, sa bawat desisyon niya o gagawin, alam na alam ko na ang pwede niyang maging hakbang.
Syrus held my face. May munting luha sa kanyang mga mata pero may ngiti siya sa labi.
I am happy and hurt at the same time. Happy because Syrus and I will have a baby, hurt because the opportunities- especially mine, are lost.
"Talaga? Magiging tatay na ako?" nakangiting tanong niya. I can hear happiness on his voice.
I wanted to slap myself. Nang nalaman ko iyon kanina ay naiyak ako. I can't graduate!!!
"Aren't you happy, Hope?" kinagat ko naman ang labi ko at iniwas ang titig.
"M-Masaya siyempre. P-Pero..." kung pupunta siyang Maynila wala akong makasama, hindi kami magkikita. Wala namang problema sa akin iyon kasi alam ko andiyan lang naman siya. What's scaring me more is my parents.
Nag-iisang anak lang ako, alam ko kahit na boto sina mama at papa kay Syrus, ayaw pa rin nila na mangyari 'to. But I was stubborn. I let my emotions driven me. But I don't regret it. I love Syrus so much and I am willing to give up everything.
"Pero?"
"P-Paano sina mama at papa?"
He is still smiling! Ganoon ba talaga siya kasaya na hindi naiisip ang problemang mahaharap namin?
"We'll talk to them---" mabilis namang akong umiling.
"Wag na muna... Syrus, wag na muna ngayon." para akong bata na nagmamakaawa sa kanya. To watch it in practical perspective, mahihirapan kaming dalawa. Nag-aaral pa lang kami! Estudyante at wala pang trabaho.
"Hope, isang buwan na lang at luluwas na akong Maynila. Hindi natin pwedeng patagalin 'to. Kailangan nilang malaman 'to. Hope, bubuhayin naman kita, hindi kita pababayaan."
I am happy deep inside alright. But the fear consuming me. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa mga magulang ko and for sure madi-disappoint ang parents ni Syrus.
Syrus kissed me on my forehead and wiped the tears on my face. Then afterwards, he leaned closer to my tummy. Hinalikan niya naman iyon at hinaplos. Habang nakayuko siya doon ay tiningala niya ako para tingnan. My hands were placed on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Hope. You are really a dream come true."
