what am I doing?

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I want to be veterinarian but I don't know if that's ever gonna happen. My grades aren't the best and I have secrets that no one knows besides my best friend and even some of them she doesn't know but I have to tell somebody. so I am choosing to tell you whoever is reading this. you will be let into my secret life. here is some background facts about me first. I have a small puppy he is about 3 months old he is actually sitting on my lap while I am writing this. I have 12 more dogs counting all of the new puppies there is 9 of them. we have several cows and two cats. I am 15 and a sophomore in highschool and I do have friends. but I feel numb all of the the time. I cut my self feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all. I know that it is bad but I don't stop I know that I should but I don't. it is worse some days than others.

if you want to know anything else comment. vote. follow. I will try to update daily. but at least weekly. this will sort of be like an online diary for me so yeah...