Changes

I guess you could say I'm a loner, but I don't mind. Let me explain, I'm Ryan and I'm 5 feet tall with a blue streak in my hair and a nose piercing. Apparently that image doesn't scream popular girl when you're in high school. I do have a couple friends though, Kari and Andrew but they don't know me like my viewers know me. I'm a YouTuber, I'm not on the same level as like Tyler Oakley or anything but I think 50,000 subscribers is pretty good. I started YouTube when I was in a bad place, I was self harming and depressed because I just found out my 16 year old sister was pregnant and my family was moving to California. Starting a new school in the middle of your junior year sucks but I had no choice. One day I was on vine just scrolling through the popular ones and I saw this guy named Jc and he was talking about a new YouTube video he made. I admit I was first drawn to him by his looks but the more I watched him the more I realized how much we had in common and I knew that I had to find a way to meet him. So I started a YouTube channel and my first video was just of me talking about my life and it got about 100 views and I freaked out. Now I get about 95,000 views on average. It's freaking crazy. This is my story.

*January 2013*

"Ryan! I'm not going to tell you again. we're moving tomorrow and that's that. Okay?"

My mom was trying to get me to be okay with the fact that I am leaving my cheerleading career and all my friends behind all because my stupid sister got pregnant. I can't even look at her she's ruining my life.

"WHATEVER MOM! GET OUT!"

I slammed the door behind her and now I'm on my phone.

"Hey guys! I just uploaded a new video. Go check it out and remember Stay Cloudy"

'Jeez this Jc guy is hot! I wonder why I've never seen him on vine before? hmm I might as well look at his video I mean I have nothing else to do other than pack and I AM NOT going I do that.'

I pulled up YouTube on my laptop and found his channel pretty fast.

"Woah, he has 900,000 subscribers"I said to myself.

I finished watching the video it was him with his brother and sister and they were playing with dry ice. I just kept watching his videos and when I looked at the time I saw it was 5:30 a.m.

'Oh my gosh I've been watching him for almost 8 hours.'

I had to leave to go to the airport at 7:00 so that gave me an hour and a half to get packed and shower. I rushed over to my closet and through everything into a bag. Then I took out the shoe box in the back of my closet that had all my blades in it. I grabbed one and slowly took a deep breath and pulled my sleeve up, revealing several small x's. I looked at them and started to cry a little but held back the tears as best as possible and in one swift move I dug the blade into my arm with a wince. It didn't really hurt much anymore but I couldn't stand blood and I knew it would come soon. I pulled the blade out and stabbed it back in to make another x. I pulled the blade back out once I saw a stream of cherry red blood running down my arm like a river of blood. I pushed a cloth to my arm where I just cut and held it there for a while then put everything back in the shoe box and jumped in the shower. When I was done getting ready I looked at the clock that was blinking on my radio.

'Only 6:00 I don't think anyone else is up yet.'

I thought about last night and Jc and how I knew I needed him in my life. Then I pulled out my camera and started recording myself.

"Uh hey people of YouTube... I'm Ryan. I self harm because of my sister but I try to be pretty normal...."

I finished recording and by the time I was done my mom walked in, uninvited like always, and told me it's time to go.

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Hey! I really hope anyone who reads this likes it. It's my first fan-fiction and I hope you will continue reading it. Thank you so much for reading this one. I know it's not perfect but I'm trying if you have any suggestions or constructive criticism let me know. This story is based on my life but it's not 100% true. I really hope you liked it so far and thanks again :)

Twitter: @ryealarson

@ Luke's_Testicles

Instagram: RyeaLarson

* Jc POV*

'Hey! I just posted a new video RT for a follow'

I waited a few seconds for people to start retweeting and then I scrolled through and clicked on a random person, my usual routine, and the lucky girl is..... Ryan Lavarusi. I followed her and usually I would go back to following other people but there was something special about Ryan. She was different than the rest. I decided to DM her too.

*Ryan POV*

I've been on the plane for 6 hours and there was still another hour to go. I decided to go on Twitter for a while. My mind kept going back to Jc, so I checked to see if he had a twitter. He had two and I followed them both. I wasn't going to go all Fangirl on him but I did retweet his latest tweet.

I had just landed when I looked at my phone again. I was upset that I had actually moved but when I saw I had a new follower and it was Jc Caylen I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately that made my mom think I was happy about California so she started talking to me. We hadn't spoke since this morning and I really didn't want to talk to any of my family. So instead of talking I plugged my headphones in and daydreamed about Jc. I was going through my direct messages and saw that he messaged me.

From: @jccaylen

'Hey, I'm Jc.'

To: @jccaylen

'Yo, what's up'

OMG why did I say "yo" what's wrong with me. A practically famous person messages me and I say, "yo!"

From: @jccaylen

'Haha uh I dont know I guess I just wanted to talk to a beautiful girl'

Did he just call me beautiful? what do I say to that? He seems so nice.

I was ripped from my thoughts when I caught my mom peeking over my shoulder.

"Who are you talking to?"

"No one! Are we almost there?"

My dad answered but I didn't hear because Jc messaged me again asking what I was doing. I felt like I was in a dream.

To: @jccaylen

'I'm on my way to my new house.'

From: @jccaylen

'Oh did you move? how's that?'

To: @jccaylen

'It sucks. I'm in California now and that's sweet but I have zero friends'

From: @jccaylen

'Well now you have 1. I live in LA. Call me I you ever want to hang out 747-472-8379'

Did he just give me his number?

*Jc POV*

Did I just give her my number?