Excerpts From the Unfinished

Now Or Never

"Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it's now or never." ~Alan Bennett

"In times like this it's now or never." ~Solitaire (Stay)
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Right now it seems terrible.


It seems like you can't breathe; you can't speak; you can't move or even think.


You know there's nothing to be afraid of, yet you can't help having this internal fear.


You think they're gonna judge you; you think they're going to tear you down and hate you for who you are.


It doesn't matter how many times they've said they won't, you still have the feeling they will.


This feeling... it hits you like a wall.


It feels like you're taking a death drop off a cliff.


You're plummeting to the ground.


This feeling... it's water in a pool or ocean, drowning you and suffocating all noises.


You're trapped under the water.


You can't swim.


It scares you; leaves you terrified.


You can't breathe.


You can't blink.


You can't think.


You stutter through words.


You turn red.


Your body shakes.


Your muscles tense.


Nothing is right.


Everything is wrong.


It is bad.


These feelings are washing over you; trashing around in your head like the waves of an ocean during a hurricane.


You are never going to do this.


Never going do this.


Never going to.


Never.


NEVER.





But stop.


Relax.


Relax.


Relax.


Breathe.


Take a deep breathe.


Take a deeper one.


Close your eyes.


Clear your mind.


Break down the wall.


Let it become a bridge for you.


Open your wings as you fall, and soar back up to the top.


Let your mind feel weightless.


Let it be free.


Don't fight this feeling.


This is calm.


You aren't drowning; the noises aren't suffocating.


Don't fight the water.


Let it hold you.


Cradle you.


Let it lift you to the top.


You can breathe.


You can blink.


You can look around.


You can think.


You can create.


You can voice your thoughts.


You can speak.


You can smile.


You can laugh.


Your body is still.


You are steady.


Your muscles are supporting you.


Nothing is wrong.


Everything is right.


It is good.


New feelings are washing over you; they are flames of creativity and thought, drying up the water from the storm in your mind.


You are always going to do this.


Always going to do this.


Always going to.


Always.


ALWAYS.





This is something new.

This lingering storm will no longer flood your thoughts.


The rains of thought will still fall.


But as soon as these raindrops hit the ground; the warm, confident ground, they will evaporate almost instantly.

They become steam.


Steam that fuels an engine.


A working machine.


A Machine crafted with a purpose.


A purpose to create.


A purpose to lead.


A purpose to live.


You have a purpose.


You have do decide this for yourself though.


Will you take a deep breathe and submerge yourself in this confidence?


Or will you float on the top and never fully experience confidence?


You have to decide.


Will your moment be now?


Or will it be never?


Two words.


Now.


Never.


Both used to create a question.


The ultimate question.


Now or never?