Jasmin

Chapter 7

"Last day of summer vacation Jasmin. Do you think Senior High will be hard. Ugh three years and we will be adults. I don't know whether to be excited or scared." Sally laughs.

We are at the skate park again watching some boys from class. They all are so young. I guess I am just old. If I hadn't missed four years of school I would be finishing High School this year not starting it. I cant think that way. There was no way to keep up with school when I was running, hiding. Loosing Roxy will be committing to being only 15, never older. I realized I liked being seen as an adult. It was time to let her go, yet I have to see all the things she gave me. But Senior high is pretty big and I will be an Adult Jasmin soon enough.

"I think the next three years will be teaching us maturity while letting us still be kids. Anyway you have College after and your parents will look after you. I think growing up is actually happening to us without our noticing or paying attention. When we have to be adult, we will be ready, and if you need anything your parents are there for you." Yep defiantly thinking a ton about being an adult lately.

"Parents always think they know what you need. I am sick of them looking after me. It never helped. They just smother me." Said like a spoilt teen she is. I smile. Spoilt or not, Sally is a special girl, and she loves her parents.

Even after everything in my past I can never look at Sally and see her life as perfect. Its not. Yes she has money and a loving family. But her hard times were just different than mine. It doesn't mean they hurt any less.

I had met Sally less than a year after her little sister past away. They were super close, but Sarah was always sick. Josh and her parents were aware that Sarahs' illness was taking away their little girl. I know they were in therapy and got the help they needed. It didn't mean they would not mourn the small child, just that they were ready to let her go after years of watching her suffer. There are still pictures up all over the house of the family of five and seeing the pinched look on the small frail girl always in a chair or someones arms is not easy to look at.

Sally on the other hand just ignored the whole illness like the child she was. She stayed with Sarah all the time and refused to believe anything bad could happen to her little sister. It affected her school work and her classmates never understood her. Hanging out with an ill little sister kept her interests and attitude very childlike when others were trying to grow up.

Sarahs death was slow and painful and Sally took it very hard. When we met in the middle of grade 5, Sally was out of school a lot for therapy and various illnesses. We were put into groups together to try to catch us up and it was by the end of the school year that we would talk a bit and even walked home together.

I know why the Prontis family is wary of me and Sallys' close relationship. We were near inseparable in grade 6. Sally became my guide on how to deal with classmates who didn't understand me, and I a protector when others made fun of her. It was a friendship based on balancing our need to be with someone and not having other options in our class as they all had their own friends. Grade 7 I started to understand what Sally had gone threw and we finally talked about secrets. I told her I could never replace her sister. Sally was so happy, she said she didn't want a replacement, as no one could compare to her Sarah, she just wanted someone to understand and let her be herself. That was that for us. Her parents still don't understand our relationship but they are happy their little girl is ok.

"Ugh, parental love smothering." I giggle, shifting my weight on the picnic table and bumping my shoulder into my friend. Watching everyone sliding around the hot cement on their boards I notice one tall blond in blue long shorts flit up his board and jut out his chin at his friend before angling back towards the group sitting in the shade of a group of trees. "I think Justin is going for a break, we need to move or he will end up sitting with Roger and Erica's group."

"Good point." Sally stretches her long legs and jumps to the ground. I grab my backpack and stroll with her to the shade.

We wander closer to the trees that has all the girls and guys that are resting from the heat radiating off the cement bowl. I look at the makeup some of these girls wear and thank god for Jessicas help a few years ago. Although with Sally I don't wear any make up I don't think I would be able to cake on contrasting colours all over my face. I don't really like the huge cost of makeup and it helps to look young when I don't wear it, its pretty easy with my stature and slim build to pass as a part of this crowd. I did some research on the public library computers when I realized I was not developing with my classmates even though I was older. I doubt I will get any bigger or curvier. Curse of living off nothing for too long. I have a 'models' body, also called malnourished.

"Hey guys." Calls Sally. They all look.

"Hello ladies." As Justin walked up. I hang back, this is just what Sally was hoping for. The sweat glistening off his developing muscles, the blond boy goes to stand really close to my friend, starts asking about where Sally disappeared to for the last month. I slide over to sit behind the rest of the kids from school. I know them all but never really felt connected with most of them.They are all good kids. Just dealing with their own lives and they don't really mess with me too much anymore. I mean a few years me and Sally had it rough, but we had each other and I knew it wouldn't last. Life changes happen pretty quickly and I was just waiting for the next turn.

Though Mr Prontis came to the school once after he found Sally crying in Grade 7. It didn't change the attitude of any of the kids, but the teachers stopped trying to put her in other groups and left her with me and a few other quiet kids. I had already guessed that he had done something at the school at the beginning of the year. I was actually surprised to be in Sally's class again. It was fluke for a few months in 5th grade and probably pushed by the teachers in 6th as we were still catching up and it was easier for them if we were in the same class, but academically both me and Sally were actually really doing well and thought I would loose her. I am sure Mr Prontis had something to do with it. Sticking together we helped watch each others backs.

Now that Sally has really found herself, she quits hiding who she is from her classmates and just lets her natural bubbly spirit out. She can connect with anyone at school now. And actually pulls me along to get along with all sorts of kids. She sees others and just accepts that yes the quiet ones are quiet for a reason and the rough ones will never tell you why they need to be so harsh. Sally just accepts. Like how she accepts me.

I will never remind her that it was Justin that made her cry sometimes back in Grade 7. She is stronger now. She can really take care of herself. I really think this year school will be great.