I'm 15 and this is our "supposedly love story"..
I'm 15 and he's 16. He's a year older than me and we go to the same school. We really don't know each other until there's this dance thing in school so we performed together and it actually became the bridge for the 2 of us. Dancing brought us together. We started texting like cool friends and all so we sort of treated each other like siblings.. I already love him, before he confessed that he's in love with me. I was in love with him 3 months before he confessed that he loves me too. Yes, 3 months of him now knowing how I felt. The reason is, I'm scared that our "brother-sister relationship" will change when I tell him the truth. So I just endured being his "little sister" for 3 months. One night, we got a little fight. At first, I thought it'll be like any other brother-sister argument when he confessed that he's in love with me. At first I did not believe him, like who would love a girl like myself? Unbelievable. But yes, I confessed too. That I was already in love with him. We decided not to be like a couple because it's uhm, against the rules of our football team (no player to player relationships) so we decided not to be committed. But still, for 2 months, even tho I can't call him my 'boyfriend', he knows that I'm his and I know that his mine. For 2 months, I was the happiest girl in the whole world. Like nothing can make me feel sad. Nothing can bring me down. I was so happy. So happy to be in love with him. So happy that he is mine. Then rumors started going around then my mom knew about it and she said I should never see him again. So I talked to him, and we decided that he'll keep his distance from me since that's what my mom wants so yes, he did. He left me. But he told me that no matter what happens, he'll still love me and nothing can change that. He said he's ready to wait until the right time until my parents are ready. We promised each other that we'll still hope that everything will be back to the way it used to be. We still hope that it will still be us till the end. He told me that he'll be going to Italy to visit his mom for like 5 months. So at first, it's not like a huge deal for me. Yes, I cried for many nights just thinking that for 5 months, he'll be totally away from me. But I learned to get over it and to just focus on my studies and I somehow convince myself that the 5 months will be worth the wait. Because he will be the one I'll be waiting for. Anything for him. Anything for love. It's been almost a month since I last saw or talked to him. It's been almost a month since it's been part of my daily routine to constantly think of him every day and every night. It's been almost a month since I last felt infinite. It's been almost a month since I saw his smile. It's been almost a month since I don't cry every night.
So that's like our fairy tale story. It already lasted when we haven't even started. That it's already an unhappy ending when we haven't even wrote the first page of our story.
A few minutes ago, before I recovered from crying so hard and hurting myself and all, a friend of mine told me that she and this guy I love had a little talk, and he told her that he needs to talk to me because he'll be staying in Italy for 5 years instead of 5 months.
Do you know how it feels to be taken away from the one you love?
Do you know how it feels to end a story that haven't even started?
Do you know how it feels to be infinite for 2 months and suddenly you want to kill yourself because it's too much?
Isn't it enough? That they took him away from me.. And now they want to take him away from me for 5 long years.. I can't even bear the idea of not being with him or not seeing him or not talking to him for 5 years... I'll miss the feeling to being safe when I'm beside him. I'll miss the feeling of hand intact with mine. I will miss the feeling of messing with his hair, having tickle fights with him. I'll miss his hazel brown eyes, his beautiful smile and his messy hair. I'll miss the feeling of feeling infinite..
5 years... How can I survive for 5 years without him?
