Being dragged away from you doesn't hurt nor the bruises on my knees nor the tears on people's faces as much as the smile on your face, the comfort of your voice and your beautiful laughter...
It didn't even hurt when I had to mob clean the pool of blood you left on the street where you laid shot, nor hearing people console me as having to tell our children that you were gone... Because really it was all a lie.
It's true everyone dies but yours was never supposed to come...
No! Sahib isn't dead, I tell them...This was the truth.
We were just having breakfast this morning, he had dropped me off at work after the kids and he had driven to work like he always, same routine, same road. He isn't a speed racer and he is such a friendly human, too friendly to stay angry with. So how dare! you tell me he got shot,
by some guys in a truck!... Impossible!
These people in white try to convince me you're dead, how dare they!, When you're right there just sleeping...
They say I'm in denial but how can I deny the fact, when I see you only sleeping about to wake and tell me everything was a nightmare.
Now here I am, sitting in my new all white room, playing chess with you like we used to....
And you're still letting me win like you used to.
Be strong for your kids they say but I'm fine I reply, I feel fine, just wonderful, how else would I when you're here by me.
Haliyah and Hameed would be fine, they won't miss me much, they have your sister to care for them and I have you my darling husband here with me... What more could I need? To be with our kids?
Don't worry they'll come visit us...
The nurses come in their white uniform smiling bright trying to make me take those drugs, saying I'm sick and you're just an hallucination but I'm not and you're real, you're here with me, where else would you be.... There's nothing or no-one that would take you away from me, not again, so I put away the drugs beneath my bed while I put my hands around your neck bringing you closer never to let go.
I don't know why they won't let us go home, they say I'm not well yet but I feel unsick, how else would I feel when I have you by my side...
Let's run away, let's go home and I'll show both our families that they are the crazy ones to ever believe you were dead... I think our kids believe me... No! They don't They are just pretending, trying to mock me...
We'll run away, again but this time taking another route, probably you could teach me how to walk through doors and past security without being seen like you do then we could leave my white room together for our beautiful mansion back home.
I'll go back to working at the hospital, perform surgeries like I used to and you'd go back to your constructions, Haliyah and Hameed would be glad and we'll be happy...
Till then, I'll stay here playing games with you and fall asleep in your arms like I used to...
I laugh at death for even he couldn't keep us apart as I slide into this wonderful dream of us in our beautiful garden back home...
Soon my dear,
Soon we'll go home.
~mystique~
