Through thick and thin; A Conor Maynard fanfiction

Seventeen

I can feel Conor's burning looks on my back as I study myself in the mirror, the new, light bikini making my imperfections even more noticeble. I'd always been self- conscious about my body and even though I've become more secure after I'd met Conor did I still have my days where I hated seeing what I saw in the mirror.

Turning to the side do I watch my stomach, I'd never been a chubby child, if I'm honest had my parents always worried about me being too skinny. I was short and my tiny body wasn't anything special in my eyes particularly. I try to suck my stomach in a bit, slightly concerned about the fact that it actually stood out a bit, not much but enough for someone to notice the difference.

I hadn't thought about it until yesterday, I'd posted a picture of me and Conor in our swimsuits on Instagram, it was a cute photo, I'd liked the way we looked, how happy we both were together, but it all had been ruined in the comments. The speculations had been many but mostly people asking if I was pregnant or if I'd started to eat less healthily lately. It had killed me and I can't understand how I couldn't see it before, the way my jeans had started to get tighter over just a few weeks time, I'd blown it off to me being stupid, I wasn't fat and had never been.

Sighing do I relax again, the stomach instantly poking back out, was it normal for your weight to increase that rapidly over such a short period of time.

"Stop judging yourself and come and cuddle with me instead"

Conor pout his lips but I just stand there, unable to move. It was like my world had ended, why always me. 

"Am I fat Conor?"

His eyes shoot up from his phone, the look on his face filled with worry, what do you say to a girl when she asks about her weight.

"You... You look great"

He stutter a bit making me feel even more awkward about myself.

"Stop lying and tell me if I've put on some weight or if I'm just seeing things"

I turn to him, my arms crossed over my chest as he wet his lips slowly.

"Jess you're scaring me but if you want me to be honest could you possibly have put on some weight, it suits you though, don't worry about it"

He smile and walk up to me, his arms snaking around my waist from behind as he place a soft kiss on my neck. I sigh and feel the tears burning in my eyes, something just didn't feel right.

"Cheer up gorgeous, a few pounds here and there doesn't matter, I'll love you either way, just look at me, I'm nowhere near as fit as some of the others"

I chuckle a bit, leaning more into Conor's embrace as he lean his chin on my shoulder.

"It's just that I don't feel like myself anymore, I look at myself in the mirror and the person in the reflection isn't me"

Conor step away from me, frowning.

"You say some strange stuff sometimes, come on, I want to enjoy the sun whilst we're still here"

He tug on my arm and pull me out from the gloomy bedroom. The others are slumped around the pool outside the villa, all of them chatting and joking about, making sure everything is catched on camera.

"Pregnancy rumours huh?"

Joe nod towards me and I wrap my arms around my body in attempt to cover myself up.

"Oh yeah, what's all of that about?"

Jack sit up on the sunbed, the cord of his headphones twisted around his finger.