Hot for Teacher (A Harry Potter Fanfiction--Dramione)

Marvel of Masculinity

He was a prize fucking idiot. Why had he thought it was a good idea to go to a dinner at the Chosen Prat's house? Their sons might have banded to form a somewhat deranged Silver Duo, but he and Potter...they weren't there yet. Nor would they ever be. And he had the Sectumsempra scars to prove it. Why was he doing this?

Oh yeah. Hermione Granger. She's looking mighty fine lately. And you've got a big stupid crush on her.

He stood in front of his full length mirror, taking stock of his appearance. He decided to wear a charcoal Muggle suit, tailor-made, and a light blue shirt. His face scrunched up as he applied hair gel to achieve an "I Woke Up Like This" sort of look, which actually took an enormous amount of effort.

Draco laughed when he remembered another Malfoy boy who not so long ago stood in front of his mirror applying hair gel with the same amount of care to impress the same woman.

He fixed his reflection with a hard glare. "Listen here, Draco. Do not fuck this up for yourself. This is the first time in a decade you've gotten the touchy feelsies for a girl and you will be a marvel of masculinity. She won't be able to resist you."

With one final hard look of approval, he grabbed an overwhelmingly expensive Cote du Rhone and made for the Floo.

_____________________________________

Hermione sat at Number 12 Grimmauld Place sipping on a glass of wine, trying not to combust from the fuse box of nerves her body had become. She was doing a shite job of it.

"Hermione. I love you. But if you don't stop fidgeting and spill your wine on my couch I will disembowel you," Ginny said sweetly. "Merlin you need to get laid."

"So you've said Ginny. And if it wasn't completely fucking obvious to you, that's kind of what I'm trying to do."

"Sorry I'm early," said a person who possessed a smooth, sexy drawl that Hermione sincerely hoped was not Draco Malfoy.

Ginny perked up, "Malfoy! So happy you arrived here at exactly this very second in time."

Hermione blushed redder than she ever knew possible. That's it. I will never speak again. My students must all learn Legilimency so I can convey the class material.

Draco joined her on the couch and greeted her with a surprise kiss on the cheek. "Hermione. You look beautiful."

Scratch that. Now she was redder than she'd ever been before. "You look nice too." Gods he smells good. What is that? Eau de Perfect Male Specimen?

He smirked and scooted closer to her on the couch. Ginny rolled her eyes at the exchange.

"So Malfoy...notice I've toned down my 'pratness' so I'm not calling you 'Ferret'...is this your first time in our home?"

"I did notice. How classy of you. And yes, I've never been here before."

"FILTH! PUTRID BLOOD TRAITORS CONSORTING WITH MUDBLOODS!"

Draco's eyes shot open wide. "What the bloody fuck is that?"

"Walburga Black's portrait." Ginny answered dispassionately. "Mostly we ignore her."

"THE HEIR OF A NOBLE HOUSE WOULD SULLY HIMSELF WITH A LOWLY MUDBLOOD! THANK THE GODS YOUR GRANDFATHER DOES NOT LIVE TO SEE THIS DAY!"

Draco grimaced, turning to Hermione who was biting back a laugh. He looked at her in surprise. "How does that not bother you?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I come here all the time. At this point all the racist shit she says is actually kind of funny."

Draco looked surprised. "I assume she's talking about me and you. But how would she know that?"

"I have no idea how she fixed it before she died, but I've got to hand it to the old crone. Girl had mad skills."

Draco grinned and put an arm behind her on the couch. Hermione took another sip of wine for bravery and smiled at him. Draco moved his hand closer to graze her shoulder, his eyes fixed on her pink bow mouth, wet from the wine she had been drinking. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

Oh Merlin, would I like to---

"YOU DARE CONJURE UP PRURIENT FANTASIES OF YOUR BLOOD FILTH WHORE IN THE HOUSE OF MY ANCESTORS YOU BLOOD TRAITOR SCUM!!!"

Draco's horror at the portrait's absolutely spot on analysis of his mental state was evident from the look on his face. His blush gave Hermione's a run for its money. He immediately jumped back, removing his hands from behind the couch and laying them demurely in his lap.

Ginny cackled with unsuppressed mirth. "That old bitch is a hoot isn't she? But don't worry. She doesn't 'read minds' per se. She just has this ungodly knack for sensing blood treason taking place under her roof," Ginny informed him with a chirp-like quality to her voice. "Excuse me, I need to go check on the roast." Ginny exited the room with a skip in her step.

Hermione bit her lip bashfully. Draco squinted his eyes and rubbed his face before daring to turn to Hermione. "So I guess we're even now," he grinned at Hermione.

She laughed. "I guess we kind of like each other, huh?"

Draco smiled and tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. "Yes. I guess we do." His fingers trailed to the bottom of her neck. He leaned in and fluttered his eyes closed. Their lips were so close to finally meeting. So close—

"YOU DARE TOUCH YOUR LOATHSOME LITTLE SLUT IN THE HOUSE OF BLACK! YOU DARE CALL YOURSELF OF OUR BLOOD WHEN YOU WOULD STOOP SO LOW."

Draco pulled back in frustration and rubbed his face. "Something needs to be done about that meddlesome old bat."

Hermione laughed. "We can use Silencing Charms but they won't last very long. I'll take care of it."

As she walked towards the painting, Draco had to stop himself from staring at her bum in mid-stride, lest the late Mrs. Black announce his thoughts to Merlin and country.

The Floo roared to life and a harassed looking Harry Potter entered his living room. "Eh. Hey there Malfoy," he managed a slight hand motion that might have been a wave, removed his jacket and plopped on the chair next to Draco.

Ginny emerged with two glasses of wine. "Thought I heard you come in. You look like boiled shite."

"Why thank you my darling wife. Glad to see after fifteen years of marriage the fire's still burning," Harry deadpanned, accepting a glass of wine from Ginny.

Draco accepted the other glass and beat down the urge to throw the entire contents down his throat in one fell swoop.

"Where's Hermione?" Harry asked.

Draco answered. "She went to perform a Silencing Charm on the portrait of my dear old auntie."

Harry nodded. "That should do us for about an hour or so."

Draco shook his head, marveling that anyone could live with such a vile artifact. "You're the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Potter. Why wouldn't you just have someone in to remove that damn thing?"

Harry shrugged. "Honestly she's sort of white noise at this point. It's like...if you had a pet fish that you didn't really care for but the worst thing you had to do was remember to feed it every day. That's kind of the dynamic here."

Draco rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. "Lunatic."

The Floo roared to life to announce the arrival of Ron and Susan Weasley nee Bones. Draco's eyes widened at the new guests. He did not realize this was a full Golden Trio party he was crashing.

Just what I need. The girl I fancy's ex-boyfriend, who hates me here to watch me crash and burn.