When You Are Gone

Chapter 1

"She left, never to return. I planted a tree and a seed each time I thought of her. I grew a small forest and a large garden and had no one to give the orchids to."

- Darnell Lamont Walker 

You know how they say you don't know what you've got till it's gone, truth is, I always knew what I had, I just never thought I'd lose it, not when I just got it. Now I know it's true, perfection is an illusion, a gruesome, manipulative and well, a perfect one and when they say something is too good to be true then probably is. How do I know all this? Like everything else in life, I learnt- I learnt from a ruthless, unforgiving teacher called life and the worst part of it all is that the lesson was a bit too late, you only need that much time to lose yourself.

I don't know if I believe in love at first sight but that night was something like it. I remember the first day I met her, it felt exactly like the last, the adrenaline, the nerves, the despicable feeling of my stomach churning in such a way I'd never experienced before. She was standing under the illuminated florescent light in our family room, leaning casually on the TV set with her eyes transfixed to the ground shyly, like she knew I was watching her. Her long, thick, dusky hair flowed down her shoulders to her back and her over-grown fringe hid her eyes. An angel I thought. She reluctantly twirled a silver bracelet around her wrist, anticipating, she was waiting for something to happen.

"Hey," my voice was calm and subtle almost like I didn't want to be heard.

She didn't move.

I wore my heart on my sleeve.

"Hey," I looped like a broken record.

This time she raised her head and revealed the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. They were big and brown with a certain shine in them that I could not comprehend. Thick, dark lashes and an immaculate honey brown complexion. I remember her unreadable expression when she looked at me with this odd sense of familiarity, like she'd known me all her life.

"Hey. Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I didn't hear you."

She pulled out the earphones from under her hair and smiled with her eyes an expensive smile, one I'll never forget.

"No it's my fault. I hope I didn't startle you though." I was humble and apologetic.

"No, not at all. And it's not your fault, really. I'm the intruder." She chuckled.

She tucked her tendril behind her ear, she didn't go about avoiding eye contact, she stared at my sharply in the eye. I was intimidated.

"I'm waiting for Gina, who I'm guessing is your sister," she said, "If...you were wondering."

"No, actually I was wondering whether they are not missing one of their angels in heaven."

"Hmm...How original!" was the sarcastic remark. "Actually, I was just trying to finish up this assignment if you must know. So why don't you tell them she's doing her homework."

"Homework." I echoed in disbelief. Astonished by the way I carried myself, by the way I talked to her so serenely like we'd always known each other.

"Why, is that so hard to believe?"

"No, I'm just thinking...its Sunday evening and you..."

"Some of us don't have it all figured out like you, you know," she interrupted. Her cheeks were drained, she was getting nervous.

"And the earphones?"

"People learn differently. Music helps me concentrate, it's easier to remember this way." I snickered. "In my perspective, this right here is the future of education."