A New Beginning [Student -Teacher Relationship]

Chapter 12

Autumns POV

I pondered over everything in my mind, but that only brought about new confusion. I've been sitting in this cafe, in a booth in the dark part of the room for 3 hours. Starring at a spec on the table, and no one came up to me. Invisible, like I'm crying in the middle of a room and no ones even glances at me.

I got up to get out as they were closing, and saw on the clock that it was 8pm already. I sighed, and pushed to door open hearing the little bells attached to it jingle. I shuffled my feet along the oddly barren sidewalks of New York, the always busy traffic moving at a slow pace to only my eyes. 

It started to rain, how cliche. I rolled my eyes, and put up the hood on my jacket. Feeling like the whole world would shatter under my weak and fragile touch, I went into a near by convenience store and bought a pack of smokes. The man over the counter looked high himself, not even bothering to ID me.

I stumbled back outside, and hesitantly lit the cigarette putting it to my cold and quivering lips. I coughed a couple times, but got use to it. The nicotine instantly calmed me, as I finished the whole thing. By this point my shoes were completely soaked and I was walking in my own personal puddles, as my hair clung to my forehead in an unruly fashion. 

Some how I wondered into time square, as it began to pour harder. I stared up at the sky as people bumping my shoulder trying to get by. Feeling the rain trickle down every part of my body, and the thunder cracked in the sky. A sense of bliss awoke inside me, something I haven't felt in a while. An odd smile fluttered across my face.

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I ended up choosing my path to end at the dock by the statue of liberty. Around midnight, I finally checked my phone. No messages flashed across the screen and embedded itself in my mind, I laughed humorlessly into the night sky. I swished my feet around in the water, and lite up another cigarette. Exhaling, I watched as the smoke pooled around my face. Alone, is the only way to describe how I feel. 

Surrounded by friends and family constantly, i've never felt so alone. I feel so pathetic, like im just blowing everything out of proportion. The rain had stopped a little while ago, but my hair remained damp and unkempt. I decided to text Jake, just for kicks or something you know?

Hey..

I sent to him, I took another puff of my smoke before throwing it into the water watching it fizzle and die out.

Jake, if your awake please respond.

After ten minutes he still hadn't replied, and that hopeless feeling was beginning to well up inside me again. I crossed my legs and sat Indian style, starring at the glowing silhouette of the buildings. But my phone began to buzz, I carefully took it out of my pocket. To see Jake's name glowing in my hand, the word calling above it. I quickly hit answer, with a shaky hello.

"Autumn? How are you? Is everything ok?" He asked sleepily into the phone.

"You didn't have to call me, I just needed someone to talk to. And... I realized I only really have you.." I trailed off, starring at my reflection on the water as I began to sob quietly. But it quickly turned into me bawling, and Jake trying to sooth me on the other line. "I just don't know what to do anymore! I can't even remember what its like to feel normal and happy, I'm at my breaking point. I just want to die all the time, no matter how happy I am or how sad I am."

"Where are you?" Jake asked quickly.

"Why." I stated more than asked.

"Because Autumn, now tell me." He said demanding.

"At the dock, in front of the statue of liberty." I heard him sigh, and a long pause followed.

"Don't move." 

I lit up another smoke, and waited for his arrival.

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I heard the stomping of feet behind me, and slowly turned around the cigarette still in my mouth. Jake  looked handsome as ever, his black hair gleaming in the moon light. He plucked the smoke from my mouth, and plopped down beside me starring out at the statue of liberty. He took a long drag from the cigarette and exhaled smoothly, I stared at the right side of his face until my eyes burned holes in him and forced his vision my way.

"Hi." I said solemnly, he flicked the cigarette into the water. He didn't respond, just grabbed me and held me for a while.

"I felt the same way, before at least." Jake whispered after a while, and rested his head on my shoulder.

I just sat there, my mind in a twilight. One of his hands around my back holding my waist, the other gently clasping the hand that didn't have a smoke in it. 

We rode in silence back to Jakes apartment, the buildings and other cars were blurred in my vision, as I stared aimlessly out the window. I eyes began to droop, and I leaned my head against the window.

Sometime later, I fell Jake pick me up rather roughly. But I didn't bother opening my eyes, or putting my hands arpund his neck to support myself. He placed me down on his bed, and I subconciously snuggled into the fluffy duvet. 

I heard rustling from somewhere in the room, probably just Jake changing. I felt the bed sink down a little, and my mind slipped into a coma like sleep.

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Sorry its short :( somethings better than nothing though right?