A Dogs Life

Chapter 1- Humans

Humans are weird sometimes. They sometimes put me in the prison and leave for some purpose. They don't come back for like, 5 days. They tell me to be a "good boy". But haven't I been doing that for the past 1 year?

Sure, I relieved myself in the kitchen, but that was one time! Okay, okay, I can't lie. I DID once... Twice... Thrice bark at the evil squirrels. But I only did that because the squirrel was going to kill us all! I also bit the cat that lived here.

They then dug a hole with this large thing with claws, and put the cat in there. I then got yelled at for digging up the hole and bringing the cat inside. I don't get it, didn't they want that evil cat back? I mean, they were crying when they dug that hole, but, I mean, seriously? Its just a cat!

I remember when my sister never came back. Everyone was whining for the whole week! Not me, my sister hated me. I guess I'm not " a real dog".

Humans say I act like a cat because I tuck my legs under my stomach. I DO NOT ACT LIKE A CAT! WHO WOULD WANT TO ACT LIKE THOSE BEASTS?!

They meow, and hiss and whine every four hours because their food bowl is empty, and they wake you up from their sleep to just annoy you! Did I also mention they love to do something dogs do? They love to chase tails! They prefer dogs tails. Its annoying!

When we got that cat, Buttercup, it was only the size of my paw. It was adorable, kinda. But did we keep it? Sadly, yes! And that cat would follow me nonstop just to chase my tail.

Um, hello? That's something I do!

Then the humans say that the CAT is adorable and not me! This cat is totally stealing my thunder! AH! Sorry, I'm scared of thunder.

Humans are always being weird. Even when my owner, Ash, forces me to lay with him. I mean, OF COURSE I'm gonna lay with you! But when you lay with the cat, that's just a no.

Thank the dog world that cat is gone!

When I bark at the other Golden Retriever, they laugh at me! I'm JUST saying "get out of my house!" Then they tell me its just my reflection. Its NOT my reflection! Its an evil dog that stands at the glass window that looks like me and tries to steal my family!

Humans are just so weird...