Bipolar for Him; A Joseph SoMo Fanfic (ON HOLD)

Bipolar for Him; Pt. 8

NEW TITLE THANKS TO CYERRAMONET. Thank you, thank you so much for being the first with feedback. I am sorry for lack of title skills lol.

"Secrets I have held in my heart are harder to hold than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours."~AM

Erika's POV:

I go to the kitchen and grab for some alcohol, but before I can take a sip, Cody grabs it out of my hands. Before I can protest, Cody opens his mouth to lecture me.

"Are you high? You can't drink while you're on these meds!" He yells at me. Cody stares at me with disgust as I am scum.

"Gimme a break, would you? You think I wanted to tell him that? I was fucking nervous and just started rambling, really stupidly, but damn, I was nervous."

"YOU WERE NERVOUS? Well, now he's heart broken."

"Why are you talking to me like this? You've seen me at my lows and you know how I could easily turn,  yet you still treat me like I could carry the goddamn world on my shoulders. I'm not perfect." I spit.

Cody has never talked to me like this. He was the one who was the one who saved me from jumping off a cliff, numerous times. He was what I felt like was my only real friend. Amidst, all your "friends" there's only a couple diamonds in the rough and that diamond was Cody. Well, at least he cared and at the time that was all that mattered. It was more than I was getting.

He takes a few seconds and calms himself. He takes a breath as to strategize what he should say next. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, but you're wrong. You can handle it, Erika. You could hold the goddamn world on your shoulders if you wanted. You use your disorder as a crutch, when it could be your superpower and a lot of the time it is. So don't go easy on yourself. You're much better than that." He says staring in to my eyes. He leans in close and I can smell his oh so familiar cologne, the one that I told him made him smell sexy. Memories of hugs and cuddles come racing back to me just from his scent. He was so close to me that I could feel his electric breath on my skin. "I won't let you fall, remember?" he says.

That's what he said when he was talking me out of jumping and I believed it everytime.

I stared back at him, with questions wondering why now. Why of all those times, did he chose now to make me feel like this?

From the corner, I hear something shifitng. It was Joseph's door opening. We jump from each other and compose ourselves.

"Hey." he says with a smirk on his face. "Hi, baby." I say. He sits down and puts his arms out and I go and embrace him. He places me on his lap and turns me to face Cody. He wraps his arms around my waist and places his hands on my lap.

"There we go," he says as I start to giggle. That's what was different between the two of them; Cody and Joseph. Joseph made me warm and tingly on the inside, like he could protect me through anything, but on the other hand, he looked at me like I was amazing. Like I did something to "open his eyes" to something magnificent.

Cody, well he's been there through everything. He knows my ins and outs. He's seen me at my lows and brought me to my highs. The whole reason I was doing so much better, getting all these gigs was because of him. No one could replace him, even if I was dating Joseph, or whatever we were doing now.

But I guess now it was time to make a decision, Cody or Joseph and I had to choose because if I picked both then I'd only forsaken the other and that'd screw up both relationships.

I sit there and just look at Cody and Joseph kisses my jaw. Cody gives me that look again, of disgust and then gets up.

"Where you going, bro?" Jospeh asks, unsuspectedly.
"I gotta take a walk." He spits out, grabs his stuff and leaves and just like that he was gone.

I guess my decision has been made for me. Cody just left when I know he would usually stay. I don't know what exactly triggered him to leave because even when I've had boyfriends that he's HATED, he'd stick around to see if I'm okay. But now, he left. Maybe it was just too much to handle. It couldn't have been cause he was jealous, right? That's impossible.

"What was his problem?" Joseph asks.