One.
"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what your not."
I bring the cigarette to my lips, inhaling it's sweet fumes and letting out a huge puff of smoke from the depths of my lungs. All the strung up nerves inside me immediately calm and relax, the ball of anxiety in my chest slowly slipping away from my mind and conscious.
I lean my back against Ridgeway High, the bricks warm from the sun beating it's sun rays on it all summer long. I cran my head back and let the sun's intense warmth seep into my skin, bringing the cigarette to my lips once again and gratefully inviting the smoke to dig into my throat. I slowly exhale and feel the smoke come trailing out of my nostrils, a smile spreading across my face as it does.
These are the moments I love most. The pure bliss of silence. Where nobody can bother me with their babbling questions I've heard way too many times to even tolerate them. Where there's no adults giving a disapproval shake of the head as I walk down the streets, obviously in on the rumors they've heard about me. Where there's no parents there to give me this shameful expression, always calling me from my bedroom to have the 'talk' once again.
Where there's nobody there to judge me for my actions in life. 'Cause honestly, I'm completely sick of it all. Sick of all the looks, the questions, the sympathy talks always trailing out of their mouths, and especially sick of it being the one important topic in this small, effed up town.
My moment of peace didn't last long though, for the sound of converses scraping against the asphalt came towards me, the familiar scent of vanilla reaching my senses.
"How's it going, Dani?" I ask, my eyes still glued shut. I take another huff of my cigarette as I hear a dry chuckle somewhere beside me.
"The usual. Working my ass off, trying my hardest not to punch one of my customers." A laugh gets dragged out of me by her statement. I feel a sense of sympathy for Dani. She probably has it harder than me. Her Dad is sick with lung cancer and her Mom refuses--yes, I said refuse--to even step one foot out of the house. She's in a knee-deep depression with a paranoia of the outside world. So, Dani basically has to be the parent in her family. As in, shopping for groceries, cleaning the house, cooking for her Mom and little sister, and also, having to deal with bitchy customers all day at Franny's Cafe'.
I help her the best I can, always offering money, cleaning her house instead of her, but Dani rarely takes my helpful gestures. Which, I know why. She's independent. She doesn't want someone helping her out when nobody really has all her life.
"It was that bad, huh?" I reply, another chuckle following.
"A man came in today and literally ordered half the damn menu. And once I brought it all out to him, he ate up the steak but said it was too dry and demanded for a free plate of food." She answers with a bitterness to her tone.
"What a fucking prick."
"Right!?!" She cries, relief fresh in her tone. "But nooo, Dan had to repeat to me again, 'The customer is always right!'" I laugh at her weak attempt at mocking her boss's voice, hearing her huff and puff with fresh rage from the cafe'.
I open my eyes finally, my sight blurry and bright, making me have to blink several times to adjust. Once I do, I couldn't help the regretful sigh that escaped my mouth. I quickly shake away the depressing thoughts though and snatch the pack of cigarettes I bought from the convenient store earlier today from my jacket pocket. I smirk as I hear Dani let out a sigh of pure relief.
I turn my face towards her and raise an eyebrow. "Sounds like somebody needs a smoke." I give the pack a shake and watch with amusement, Dani quickly snatch one out of my hands and begin lighting it with her Invader Zim lighter she always has kept hidden in her pocket.
"Dani......" I say, a warning note in my tone. She hears it and looks up, a sorrowful look crossing over her face.
"I swear to you I didn't do it again. If I did, you'd know for sure." I study her face for a while but finally decide to believe her. Dani was a bad liar, after all. I'd definately know if she was lying.
Anybody would.
"So, giddy for tomorrow?" She asks, bringing the cigarette to her lips and letting the smoke come trailing out of her mouth like snakes. I groan loudly, dropping my cigarette on the floor and crushing it with the bottom of my boot.
"Yeah, ecstatic." I say sarcastically, hearing a melodic laugh from Dani.
"Aw, come on! You get to see Jessica again!" A huge burst of laughter erupts from my chest, my blood practically on fire now.
"Yeah, who wouldn't be giddy for that?" I ask, sarcasm deep inside my voice again. Dani lets out a chuckle and I end up joining her, the flashbacks of last year running through my head like a bad chick-flick.
Jessica Marie. You know that one girl you have in school? The basic, generic, overly-cliche'd queen bee? Well, that's the definition of Jessica at Ridgeway High. She acts as if she owns the damn school and disgustingly, half the student body believes it. They'd lick the hallway floor if she asked them to. Hell, they'd shoot a guy if Jessica told them to. Of course, not all people are like this. Their mostly too condemned with fear to ever feel the urge to be at Jessica's every need. And of course, there is people who hate Jessica. Some are open about it, some are not. Rarely, though, are they ever open about their hatred for Jessica.
And who fits into the category for the openly-hatred-of-Jessica-Marie? Well, Dani and me of course. And she absolutely hates it. It's pretty amusing, really, to see that barbie face of hers turn into an ugly shade of red and to see her make-up caked cheeks swell up into huge gumballs. It surprises me not to see anybody else try and be as open as me and Dani.
Such a shame, too. It's just too damn fun.
"What about you, Dani?" I finally ask, breaking the amusing reverie we were both caught up in.
She blinks twice at me before saying with the tilt of her head, "What about me?"
I smile and shake my head at her, amused by her easy memory-loss. That's one of the reasons she doesn't do good in school. She forgets information way too easily and ends up drawing blank when she gets hit with the questions about it. It's funny but it's also pretty sad.
"Nevermind, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer." I say, smirking down at her. She smirks back and suddenly, drops her cigarette on the floor and smooshes it beneath the rubber of her converse.
"Here, lets go somewhere fun. I really don't feel like hanging out at a place I'm gonna have to go to at seven in the morning tomorrow." I nod frantically, extremely glad that she thought of that.
We loop our arms together and walk away, Dani's blabber going through one ear and out the other as I steal one glance at the piece of hell I'm gonna have to endure with tomorrow.
