Shit Sucks

my life

When I woke up this morning all I could smell was the musk of our blankets. I could feel his skin and how sweaty and clammy his body was it kind of made me happy yet made me sad. It was his last night laying in my bed. His real girlfriend would be moving down in a couple of hours and I his daughters mother would be left of the thought of what could have been. I stood up my feet feeling as if I was dying the curling sensation that I felt along with my back pain seemed almost normal. I pregnant with our children killed me because of how I felt about us. The thought it made me feel almost amazing yet terrified though I still loved him. I carried myself into this kitchen my gianormous stomach seemed to smack into everything in its way. I knew he would sleep til almost three in the afternoon if I let him. When I looked at the window over this city that I thought dreams were made of I smiled. My dream was to get married have about two to three kids and live happily ever after but I guess someone else had other plans. Thinking and knowing something maybe different things you realize but I realized them all to well. I was my loves side girl and he was promised to the love of his own life Diandra. though she was beautiful I seemed to love her and hate her at the same time because I had something she wanted and vise versa. At the same time as I was cooking bacon in the stove I was thinking about us. Me and my one true love it seemed as of we were crumbling down together but even when things looked impossible I would try and look on the bright side for both of us. Maybe my love would realize how much I cared for him even enough to let my competition stay and live in my house. Apart of me hated the idea one night with a dream girl or guy could change a persons mind. And of course that's what he was doing to me.  My mind had so much issues with it due to our encounter five months back. That it changed my mind forever. It seems the talk about diandras move was confusing me in a way.
A snap back to reality came when he walked in the room with his body glistening off his body. I just loved when he looked at me with his face, fine chiseled jawline, fully toothed smile with that strong nose. His eyes that sweet color of chocolate and the way he looked confused. "Good morning Precious," he said to me apart of me didn't even want to look at him the way he acted last night was monstrous.  I still smiled in my head I thought, the only real reason he got up at ten is because he smelt the sweet smell of crispy applewood bacon. I started to crack some eggs as he starred at me. " Wassup with you," I playfully asked him. If he really thought I was playing hr would fit the stereotype of sexy guy no brains. He laughed, "Come on Precious," he whined. I guess he forgotten the exactly five months ago another guy wanted to go out with me yet now that I'm huge he no longer wants me. Plus he was so sweet he went on and on about how perfect I was and now nothing not even a second glance. All because of what I did so long ago, and also thanks to him my girlfriend left me saying that she wouldn't take cheating so lightly. Yet him on their other hand lied to diandra he lied to her after promising me he would tell the truth. I guess that's what I get for falling in love with someone who is already taken.
I looked at him he smiled and I just melted I don't know why I always did that when ever he smiled I guess it was because he didn't normally smile at me.I guess whenever he smiled it made me feel safe because when he was sad it made me sad we were like twins yet complete opposites. It was funny yet crazy. I could feel the twins moving around in my uterus like they were fighting and whatnot it made me chuckle a bit. He looked at me and touched my stomach making me feel pretty weird he smiled " those two our funny aren't they," he said. I didn't know how to answer I guess the two children in my stomach were like us always fighting yet always loving one another. I don't know if our children could even stand having to "" Moms"" in the house. I mean I would hate to hear them call her mom it would probably make my skin crawl. I waited for him to say anything but he was silent. "Hey Precious," he said I just looked at him he started to continue, " how do you feel about diandra coming down. In my head I said what are you crazy my competition in my house living and cuddling with you my love. I mean of course she had you first and whatnot but I loved you more I mean I cared for every part of you. And you expect me to be happy go lucky with my competition. You expect when she comes down here for me to kiss her ass and beg for us to be the best of friends because that shit ain't happening at all. Then he looked at me waiting on my actual response. " I mean like I'm happy for you," I said obviously lying but I guess he didn't understand sarcasm. He smiled and bent down and kissed my belly. I guess it was a good thing I filtered my mouth before saying what I really meant.