Ship: Pearlnet
The Reason – Pearlnet
It was late when we returned from the mission. Steven went to bed, Garnet disappeared into her room, Amethyst said she had things to do. And I? I was left alone. I took a deep breath and went also to my room. The swords needed to be cleaned.
The next day things were calm. Steven and Garnet were playing a game while Amethyst and I were doing the dishes. The radio was on and I nurried with the songs. “Okay Hoobastank fans are you ready for an oldie goldie? Here is The Reason!!” Calm notes started the song and I smiled. A smiled that immediately disappeared when the male singer sung his first words
“I'm not a perfect person
There's many thing I wish I didn’t do”
I dropped the sponge and I was frozen with fear. This couldnt be.
“But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you”
The pain cut through my body and I could feel the hair on my back standing up.
“And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know”
I wanted to tell her how I felt. But I couldn't. I shouldn't..
“I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be”
I wanted to change. I really
wanted to. I wanted things to get how they used to be. Calm, peaceful.
“A reason to start over new
And the reason is you”
She was the main reason. The main reason I lived.
“I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday”
I was so sorry for what I did. If only she knew why I did it. I did it because I loved her. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. But again: I couldn't. She would hate me. Even more than she already did.
“And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears”
I had heard her crying. I heard her being angry. I could hear it al and it hurted like crazy. I didn’t want it. I wanted to walk up to her, hug her, whipe away the tears and tell her how sorry I was. To tell her that I didn’t wanted he to be upset. I wanted her to smile.
“That's why I need you to hear..”
I really wanted her to tell it al and I wanted her to hear it all.
“I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you”
I took a deep breath and whiped away my tears. I couldn’t cry. Not in front of Steven. Not in front of her. I had promised her to be strong. For her. So she could trust me.
“I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you”
She would be the reason for me to find my new self. A strong someone. A asecure someone. Someone who I wasn't ..
“I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you”
The song died off. “Oh my god, that song” “I haven’t heard it in ages”. Steven and Amethyst went hyper over the song but I, I couldn’t consentrate on anything. I had lost control over my breath, my hands were shaking and I was sweating.
“Pearl?” Are you okay?” Steven voice vaguely sounded in the background. I looked up. I wanted him to assure that everything was fine. But before I could say anything, she looked up. For a whole 5 seconds we were looked each other in the eye. “I…i…” My voice sounted like one of a stranger. So I paniced. And run away to hide in my room. Ignoring Steven. Ignoring her.
As soon as i entered my room I let myself fall againt a wall and let all the emotions go. Tears streamed down my face and I had my arms wrapoed around me, afraid I'd fall apart. The door to my room opened. “Pearl!” Her hard voice echoed through the room. “Pearl?”. Again. But softer this time. “Pearl?!”. I could hear panic and concern in her voice. She fell next to me on her knees, her strong arms wrapped around me. “Im sorry! Im so sorry!” It was the only thing I could say. She said nothing. She only hold me tight, stroke my hair and whiped away my tears. “Its okay, Pearl. Im not mad. Im here. Ill always be here..”. And so we sat there like this for a while, I was staring against her red suit and she, trying to calm me. “Garnet?” I broke the silence. “Shhhh, no need for words!”. Her voice sounted to calm. Ive never heard her talk like this. So calm. So caring. So broken? “Im sorry…”. It was almost a whisper but I knew she had heard me. “Pearl, look at me!”. I did as requested. She took her virors off and looked me directly into my eyes. Her hand resting on my cheek. “Pearl, we all make mistakes in our life. I do too. Im sorry for how I've been the last few days. I had felt you while we were fused. I knew you were insecure and unsure about yourself but I never realised how much until now. Please, understand. You dont have to feel like that. We all love you. I love you. More that you realise!”. My cheeks became blue, words got stuck in my throat and I had a confused look on my face. She slower came closer. And closer. And before I knew I felt a pair of soft lipt against mine. Multiple emotions run through me. I was confused, scared and happy? What did she feel for me? Did she love me? Was this a dream? Another hand on my cheek brought me back to reality. I decided to answer the kiss. I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her with a lot of passion. After a few second, even though it felt like eons we let go if each other. “I dont understand…?”. I was scared, so scared that this was all a big joke. Garnet laughed. “Whats not to understand? I love you. I always did and I always will and by the looks of it, you feel the same!” I took her hand. She took mine. It felt warm and I smiled. “You know? I can get used to this!”. Her beautiful laugh sounded through the whole room. “Me either, Pearl, me either…!!”
