Crashing

First Memories

My memories have become so jumbled up and mushed together, that I don't remember exactly what memory the very first memory I have. So this is the collection of memories that I have that are all seeming to be happening at the earliest time in my memory. These are not in any particular order because of that.

Since my birthday is in December, I had to go to 2 to 3 years of preschool before I went to kindergarten. I know that some of it was at the park district in my home town, and some it was at a little school near my house. I don't know how the years were spilt up, but I have specific memories from each. From the park district, I remember the teachers turning off and on the lights so that we could see our partner's pupils expand and contract. My partner was Austin, and we become somewhat of friends in the future, but that story is for another chapter. Skip ahead or back, I don't know, I'm still at the park district. We are doing another little experiment to see how a polar bear's flubber protects them from the cold. The teachers help us make a flubber of sorts in a bag then put one of our hands in it. Then they have us put both of our hands in a container filled with cold water. My final moment that I remember from the park district is really just a glimpse. It is of a horse that they use in gymnastics. It looks like a piece of wood covered in soft fabrics and gymnastics do some really cool moves on it. I only really have one memory of the school by my house, and it is of the class sitting down on the plush rug that made up the little play area for the class. The person behind me was talking or something similar and I either shushed them or told them to be quiet and I was the one who got in trouble. If my mom or I pull out the old photo books, I can remember more and can pull more detail from the past, but I just want to put in the memories I have from my head here.

So my next memories are just random pieces of past I have stuck in my head, but at least one of them will come in handy later, so let me tell you about them. One is of me up on my dad's shoulders with my legs wrapped around his neck/shoulders. We are at six flags, and one of those little kid roller coasters is going in front of us. It is one of those coasters that go up and down while spinning in a circle. It was (and still is, I know from my recent jaunts there) a vivid red and had yellow/orange on it. I remember my sister is with us, but she isn't visible in this picture. I remember being happy and carefree and truly joyful. The other one is again, only a snapshot into my life as a very little kid, but it was of my garage with the van and another car there. The van was my mother's, and the other car was my father's. The van is bluey green and still fairly new.

The last memories before kindergarten and elementary school is of my deceased Dalmatians. Sadly, I only really have 3, but I treasure them with all my heart. My mom told me that my father and her got them when I was still a baby, probably a toddler. They were siblings, a male and a female. The male they named Spirit, and the female Charm. Charm was partially deaf also, which is common in Dalmatians. I remember brushing Spirit, and I was only a couple inches taller than him at the time. I think it was one of our only chores, my sister's and mine. It was still early morning because the house was only lit up by the sunlight streaming through the door and windows. I remember smelling the utter tranquility and peace and summer smells that day. That, unfortunately, is the end of the memory, but from context clues I am pretty sure it was during school summer and it was most likely Sunday or the day after. Onto the second memory of them now, I guess. This one is either before or after dinner, I don't quite remember. We were feeding the dogs treats and we had to lock Charm in the bathroom to give Spirit his. Charm loved her brother, and stories told by mom at other points of my life prove that love, Charm was just greedy with the treats. The noise of that night was background noise to me at that age, but it was so very loud. My father was watching his news and since we were telling the dogs to behave, he kept cranking it up. My mom was growing annoyed so she also got very loud. I am pretty sure I was the calmest in that situation. The third memory of the dogs is 2 but they blend together and lead to one another so I count them as one. The starting one is my mom reaching up into the cabinets to reach for some wet dog food that my mom had to specially buy for Charm. I asked her why we had to give her that specific food and why we couldn't feed her what we did Spirit. Apparently she had something wrong with her kidneys or liver, and this was the best food for her to keep her healthy and strong. I didn't know it at that moment, but what my mom didn't say was that Charm was slowly dying and that wet dog food was helping keep her alive for a little longer. My mom told me stories of how we would come home and entire chocolate cakes would be gone from the counter. Charm was the one who ate the chocolate cake. Flash forward a year or two maybe, and my mom and I are sitting quietly at the kitchen table waiting for my sister and father to come home. My mom, I knew, had explained it to me, but I don't remember Charm leaving with Hope and dad. Sniffles occasionally escaped from both of us, and I don't remember seeing Spirit anywhere, but I know he was in the house somewhere. Charm was so sick that it would have been cruel to keep her alive any longer. I opted out of going to the vet to see her die, so I stayed home with mom.  It was dark out and the light from the hallway was only on. Maybe more were on, but all I remember seeing is darkness and shadows playing with each other. Finally they came home and I broke down right then when I had visible proof that Charm wasn't coming home. Tears streaked down my face and my mom was quick to lead both me and Hope upstairs to our shared bedroom. I didn't sleep well that night, and neither did Hope. When we woke in morning, it was not any better and all of us spent that day recuperating from our loss. 

That is all the memories I have from my life before school. Well really before I started to recognize the things going on around me and being able to say/do things for myself. Oh, did I not tell you yet? Hi, my name is Harmony, *shakes hand and smiles* and this is when things start to go wrong.