"You're always telling me that Im too broken to be fixed, too numb to feel the pain, too blind to see the truth and too weak to walk away - but Im finding strength."
- Koven
~ 1010 words.
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~ Raven ~
Scattered.
Like fragments of dust in the wind.
Thoughts like water slip between my fingers, breath catching in my throat as the ledge beneath my feet feels as though it is shrinking.
Chills splinter through my veins turning my blood cold as ice. Is this fear? The idea of jumping was always so tempting until I was really here, gazing into the abyss of the ravine below me.
The bridge holding me is as old as time itself, the metal holding it together creaks and shudders under the strain of cars passing overhead. The wind sounds like despaired singing, the kind of song belonging to someone broken by the weight of losing what kept them strong. Its cold beneath my fingers which poke out of my black fingerless gloves.
Its impossible to believe in hope when it hurts just to be alive.
I've found myself at the crossroad between wanting to live and see the beauty I know the world has to offer or ending it all right here and now, stopping the constant pain that tortures me with every heartbeat.
When I try to remember the last time I was happy my mind draws up a blank. The feeling seems alien to me after all this time. Not that I deserve to know it.
But then a warmth. A spark. A light in the dark. Fingers intertwining with mine. A pull, a gentle tug leading me away from the gateway to oblivion.
I slip but instead of feeling my stomach churn as I free fall to the rocks beneath me I land in a blanket of warmth and safety that has a fiery heart beat and a deep voice laced with worry.
"Careful there, that's a one way ticket to the land of no return. You must be cold you're shivering like crazy, I know a quiet cafe nearby, grab a drink with me? I'll pay don't worry."
Without waiting for my reply they walk, fingers still interlocked with mine, gently guiding me through the moonlit streets.
The silver plated watch on my left wrist reads the time as 01:38am. Today is January 1st. I planned on leaping 22 minutes from now to my death from the Elia bridge.
Every fibre of my being feels numb to the core aside from the fingers connected to a complete stranger which tingle ever so slightly, resonating with their heat.
Clouds shroud the full moon dulling its bright light to a faded glow which dusts everything with pale white creating silhouettes out of trees and buildings and the stranger.
Darkness surrounds us, engulfing me in its double edged embrace. The silence between me and this other soul forms an atmosphere where my thoughts drown out reality, dragging me deep within the twisted castle of my mind.
In this realm of my own imagining my thoughts are roses with petals that present beauty in the eyes of their beholder but stems with thorns too deadly to touch. Much like throwing a pebble into a pond the blood that drips from the wounds of my own thorns create ripples on the waters surface generating a chain reaction that brews a storm within my mind. Chaotic winds scattering the rose petals like leaves in the wind leaving only the stems and their thorns and the vast nothing in which everything has an echo, echoes which become so unbearably loud and dangerous-
Until they stop and Im back, staring at the soft glow of candles in the cafe window, a hand waving in front of my face.
"Earth to random guy, hellooo~?"
The voice that calls is the same from the bridge. The guy who stopped my fall. Its a deep, melodic voice mixed with the slight twinge of a distant accent barely audible anymore.
I know this voice.
My eyes flicker upwards to meet the gaze of deep red irises searching for any form of response.
"Come on, lets go inside. Its pretty cold out here," they say as they push open the old wooden door that stands as entrance to this homely cafe. A light bell chimes as the door swings open and a wave of warmth greets us two standing outside where it is beginning to snow.
The guy enters ahead of me then turns to hold the door open. The soft candlelight glow illuminates his pale skin and reveals his pitch black windswept hair.
A white cotton scarf hangs loosely around his neck. It contrasts to his black hooded jacket but they compliment each other nicely. He smiles as I step into the cafe after him and whisper an inaudible thankyou as we slide into a window seat that overlooks a small lake decorated along its edge with beautiful fairy lights.
Due to the cold temperatures this winter the lake has frozen over and I can faintly see the marks left behind by skaters in the ice.
"Hi, welcome to the Hideaway Cafe, may I take your order?" The waitress, unusually energetic for this hour of the day, leaves with his order of two hot chocolates whilst I offered only silence in return. Why am I still here?
Resting my head on the wooden window frame I gaze out into the infinite darkness of the night sky. There are no clouds tonight, just the stars, the full moon and all of the empty space holding the universe together. Its so utterly peaceful. I was prepared to die with this sky as my final memory.
My breath begins to steam up the window so I move away and remember Im not alone.
"Hey, so, what's your name? Im Red, nice to meet you!" His voice is more playful and inquisitive than it was before when it sounded so careful and soft.
My eyes meet his for a second before shifting back out the window. "Raven."
