Ups and downs

May 2009

Finally I was a high school graduate, my friends and family were there watching me walk across that stage. And he was there, smiling proudly . I had thought that evening would be a celebration, I was supposed to have dinner with my family in which he was invited. He made an excuse to my daddy about there being a graduation celebration and my dad cancelled, told me we could do it another time . In reality there was nothing he said he didn't want to share me. At first I thought it was sweet but the more I thought about it the more concerned I became. In July of 2009 I got very sick. I thought it was the flu so I just nurses it myself.  His sister had other ideas, pregnant. She brought home a test and I was beyond nervous. I just graduated high school, about to go to college and I wasn't married. To some these may not be a big deal but to me they were. I did what I needed to do and waited, it was the longest three minutes of my life. I couldn't even look at it. I remember his sister coming in and telling me congratulations, I was going to be a mommy. I just sat against the door and cried. I cried for my unborn child and I cried for myself.i didn't want anyone to know until I figured things out. He came in and started laughing. He said it was great news whole all I could do was cry. I wasn't ready, I wasn't secure in my relationship. The only thing I could do was tell myself obviously God had a plan I wasn't aware of yet. I just had to wait to find out. His plan was a strong test in my opinion , one of those make you stronger or break you tests. I never expected what came next though.