Bipolar for Him; A Joseph SoMo Fanfic (ON HOLD)

Bipolar for Him; Pt. 9

Hey, you guys! I'm looking for a better cover, so if you're interested please inbox me! It must include a picture of SoMo, the story name, and my username. This cover doesn't do his hotness justice lol. Feedback would be amazing. Please comment anything dealing with the story. Share and like it ! Lots of Love, EffortlesslyErika

NEW TITLE THANKS TO CYERRA MONET. THANK YOU, THANK YOU AGAIN. <3333

"I'm not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me, because I live to like you and... and I can't like you anymore." - Duckie, Pretty in Pink

Cody's POV:

    I slam the door and rush out of that place. I needed to walk out and take a breather and take some time to take all of this on. I've been there for her through everything and this is how she acts? I mean, a heads up would've been nice that she was into Joseph. I wasn't asking for a detailed paragraph of how she felt about him, I just wanted to know.

    That girl is or at least was my main priority. I would wake up and think of her and wonder if she was okay. I would try to sleep and couldn't stop my thoughts from drifiting towards her. I don't even know what to say. I put in so much time and effort to be there for her and I wanted that too. Who wouldn't want that from her? She was beautiful, amazing, intelligent, creative. There aren't enough good things to say about her, but there are some bad things too. That's inevitable, tho. She's a person and no one is flawless. Sometimes, I forget that. I forget that she's not superhuman, or something. I forget that she can't take on the world by herself. But hell, do I believe that she's capable of it.

    I would push to the ends of the earth for her to be okay and do what she loves. Our relationship was bigger than us. It was beyond love; bigger than just some stupid emotion. I was the goddamn glue that held her together. I was her safety net that caught her when she fell. I was that shoulder that she could cry on. I lived to be there for her.

I remember one night we were at my place and I lost it. I was just sick of her doubting herself. I remember that night so clearly, like it  happened yesterday.

"No. No! Goddamn it, Erika! I told you, you're better than this," I yelled at her. I was fuming. I couldn't help it.

She just stood there in my kitchen and avoided my gaze.

"Stop yelling at me," she replies so quietly that it comes out as a whisper.  A lone tear drops from her right eye and my heart feels like its breaking.

She puts a hand over her head and has this distressed look on her face as if she's in pain.

She goes to my medicine cabinet to grab her medication and just as she tries to put one in her mouth, I slap it out of her hand. I yell at her with such anger, "You don't need those!"

She looks at me for a split second and stares at the door and says, "I gotta go... okay."

She grabs her iPhone and her keys and walks out the door. I follow her to my garage.

She gets in her car, but before she turns on the engine, I slip in the car.

"Stop running away from me," I said. I needed to know that she wasn't going to do something stupid.

"YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME, CODY. Do you know that, HUH? I need time. I need fucking time. Can I not take one goddamn breath without you breathing down my neck? You push and you push and then you realize that there was nothing you could've done. I am hopeless, Cody. HOPELESS. Because yes, Cody, I am human. I have a fucking disorder. I am not an addict. I am nothing, but healthy. I just need my goddamn pills to help me think straight! Open the goddamn door, I'm fucking burning up."

I rush out my seat and open the door for her.

She walks out and sits on the curb. I still follow her because that's what I do.

"Is that what you wanted me to fucking do? To yell and scream at you? Are you happy? Are you goddamn happy now?"  I don't reply. I just wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. She resists me.

"Go get my fucking pills and don't you dare argue with me or I will go straight to a bar or better yet go get some drugs!"

I run. I come back with her pill and a water bottle. She seems to calm down at the sight of her meds.

"Do you want me to get you anything else?" I readily ask, trying to help in any way I can. All the anger from me has vanished, but my opinions still hold true. This is what makes me think she is invincible. Even when she is struggling, she manages to come true and fight back to still be 100% Erika.

"Go inside, you must be freezing." She says calmly.

"No, I'm not leaving you. Plus, you must be cold too."

"I'm still boiling," she spits out like it was something I should've known already. She grabs my hand and puts it against her neck. She really was boiling.

'Holy crap, let me take you to the hospital."

"No. I know what they're going to say. You need to rest, eat a balanced diet, and avoid stress at all times, but I can't really comply with the last one. Just let me cool off."

"I'm, I'm sorry." I was really sorry and I did regret making her feel like this.

"No, you're not. You still mean all of those things you said."  Crap, she was right.

"You know that I am not physically, emotionally alright unless I know you're okay. I know that it is 100% possible for you to be completely off meds. I know that I have NO idea about what you're going thorugh, but I want you to know that I am always here for you. Cheering you on. No matter what the circumstances. If I'm just your friend. Boyfriend. Husband. Acquaintance. I will always be there for you."

She smiles, a very small one, but still a smile. She stares into my eyes and I can't help but kiss her right there and there.

That was the first time I've ever kissed her.

I can't believe I said husband. I don't regret it. She deserves someone who respects her and loves her deeply and if she wants that someone to be Joseph, then I guess I better suck it up and accept it. I just want her to be happy.

I guess I wasn't what she was looking for. I just wished it could've been me to make her happy.