Elevator Ride -- A HandUnit Fanfiction

Elevator Ride

     I slammed my hand against the obvious red button and waited as the elevator roared to life and descended into the depths of the building.

     "Welcome to your second night on the job," the enjoyable male voice greeted me. "In just a moment, we'll be arriving..." I dazed off, I didn't care about what the voice had to say, i was just here for a paycheck. All I cared about was being able to buy popcorn and pay my cable bill so that way I could keep up with The Immortal and The Restless, because, quite frankly, I wanted to see if Vlad and his baby mama worked things out. I mean, they do have a kid together.

     I was drawn out of my trance when the elevator came to an abrupt halt, the harsh squeal of the ancient pulley system being overworked pierced my ears and I felt my hands go up to cover them. The dim lights in the elevator shut off, and not a second later, the red emergency lights cut on, causing the small, enclosed space to be consumed in an eerie crimson glow. My ears still rang from the shrieks of the stopping elevator, so when the mechanical whip of the ominous yellow tablet echoed in the area, it sounded like it was under water. I opened my mouth wide and wiggled my jaw back and forth, hoping to bring some sense of hearing back to my ears; after a fruitless attempt though, I turned to the tablet. Even with the elevator stopped, the poor thing still shook, I couldn't even type my name on it correctly if I tried. Oh, wait, I did try that. Last night, to be exact. 

    I looked at the tablet closely, allowing myself to inspect it for the first time.  The two, off-centered eyes on top of it favored looking to the left, I followed its eyes, but the only thing in the elevator on the left side was a poster of Baby. My eyes moved back to the tablet, it wasn't a bright, happy yellow; it was more dingy. I don't know why, but I started to feel sorry for the tablet. It wasn't meant to be here, attached to a pole, possessing only a shaky keyboard with green outline and a random sticker attached that said 'Mike'.  Just as I was about to avert my eyes to something else in the elevator, the voice on the intercom spoke up.

     "It seems that we are experiencing some technical difficulties, please remain calm while the system tries to correct itself." This didn't seem like a big deal to me, I guess when you get a under-the-table job such as this one, things like a broken elevator are to be expected. What did seem like a big deal is when the voice came back, but this time it seemed like the intercom voice floated out from the speakers of the tablet. "In the meantime, I suggest that you and I get to know each other a little better." I inched myself closer to the tablet, but nearly jumped out of my skin when the voice started talking again. "If you will, please type in your name for confirmation." 

     I figured that I had some time to kill, so I decided to give it a shot since I had already clocked in, so sitting in this elevator talking to a robot would literally just be me passing time and getting paid to mess around. Although, it is kind of odd that a robot wants to get to know me better. Come to think of it, maybe it's a way to see if I'm a good employee, like a test from the big-shots. I emerged from my thoughts and tried my best to type my name on the shaky keyboard, but it seemed to begin to freak out, so I just put my hands up near my head as if I were surrendering. Seven green dots appeared on the screen as the keyboard gave way to a green, glowing message that read: error 

     The voice started again from the tablets speaker, and again, it scared me. I guess I'd gotten used to it coming from the ceiling like some voice of God or something. "It seems that you had some trouble with the keypad. I see what you were trying to type, and I will autocorrect it for you." I waited, and to no surprise, the same name appeared like it did last night, even though it wasn't anything close to what I had typed. "Welcome back, Eggs Benedict!" The voice from the machine grew more cheerful, and I grew more sick to my stomach. 

     "This isn't going to work," I said aloud. I wasn't expecting an answer, I was really just talking to myself, but it's like the HandUnit heard me, because it responded with: "I'm sorry you feel that way, allow me to turn on Human Interaction mode." And not a second later, a weird chime of a bell rung from the tablet's speaker's, followed by the HandUnit's voice. "Hello, again. My name is HandUnit, and I am now in interactive mode. I will be able to respond to your voice. Even though we don't need the keypad anymore, I will leave the tablet in place so that you may have something to speak to, so that you won't feel lonely!" There was a slight pause followed by more of his talking, "we will now begin to get to know each other, is it alright if I ask you some questions about your life? Please simply answer yes or no."

     "Uh...sure, I guess so," I replied.

     "Please simply answer yes or no." HandUnit repeated. I mumbled an apology, then cleared my throat and gave a precise 'yes'. "Thank you," the voice said, I stared at the tablet. "First question, what month were you born in?"

     "February," I responded. Then, just for the hell of it, I asked the HandUnit a question. "What's your favorite television show?"

     "Oh, that is simple," he replied, leaving me pleasantly surprised. "It is The Immortal and The Restless, I watch it every chance I get. What is your favorite food?"

     "Pizza, it's perfect for parties. What's yours?" I awkwardly stared at the tablet, at this point I was starting to think that maybe there was a real human up in some air conditioned office watching me through cameras, and maybe he started talking to me because he was lonely.

     "I do not have a favorite food, I am unable to eat. I am a machine. What made you apply for a job here?" 

     This was starting to take a turn for an interview rather than a pleasant conversation, but I answered nonetheless, then tried to steer the conversation back to where I wanted it. "I didn't really know where else to go, no one wanted to hire me. Are you real?"

     "I am a model five of the Handyman's Robotics and Unit Repair System."

     "I know that much," I replied. I was about to ask another question when the elevator suddenly cut back on. "Woah, that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would," I commented. The tablet in front of me whipped out of sight, leaving me alone in the cylindrical room. "Hey, HandUnit, where'd you go?"

    A males voice boomed from overhead, "all systems are now back in working order," it told me. I was confused, and I even started to think that maybe I'd hallucinated my short conversation with a robot, but then it said something else in a quieter tone. "I would like to thank you for talking to me," he said, "I'm sorry I had to forcefully shut down the elevator in order to get the courage to talk to you, though. Be safe on your second night here, Eggs Benedict."

     And with that, the elevator came to a slow, steady stop, and the doors slid open, revealing the room ahead where I would officially start to do the work I was being paid to do.