Underground

Here

I felt the pull. It was so painful, but I could do nothing about it. I think they drugged the food.

It was the first real meal I had had in so long. Beautiful pasta dishes and potatoes. It was a feast. And like the idiot I am, I ate it. As much as I could. The stress that my body had undergone previously from not eating was too much, the food made me feel sicker.
But I ate anyway. And now I am sitting back in my tiny cell, trying to remove the horrors that I have just undergone.

I could feel the hooks digging into my skin - all over my shoulders, arms, and legs and even in the top of my head. I was transformed into a puppet by a person that I never saw the face of. There are so many holes in my skin. They bleed constantly. I've been maimed beyond recognition. If only my friends could see me now! Assholes.

I am trying to keep sane by forgiving my friends. Usually it works, often it doesn't. I'm assuming that if you are reading this, you know what I am going through. You can connect. I'm sorry if the ending sucks, though. Too fucking bad. This is life.

I think this was the worst by far. The intense nothingness I felt, but all the same I felt every sway and tug, lifting my arms and my legs - a literal puppet show.

The worst bit was when they put me down.

You know why? Because when my arms were laid beside my face, I could see everything. There were fishhooks in my hands. And arms. Fishhooks that dug under my skin and pull my skin away from my bone. As soon as I saw it, I was so aware of every other hook piercing my skin - digging into me.

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There are no real words to describe the pain I was feeling. The closest I can get was a mixture of pain, regret and most of, lack of hope that I would ever leave.