70 Pages

Page 3

I wasn't very welcomed at home either... My parents said I was a failure, I was fat, and I was ugly.

I get average C's in my results, but they wanted me to be like Brittney. Getting A's.

I wasn't fat. But I wasn't slim as Brittney either. In my family, everything was about Brittney, never once about me.

I didn't know why I was ugly, we were twins. Maybe because of the amount of scars on my face, or the amount of makeup on her face.

Whatever it was, I was the The Failure. The Embarrassment of the Family. I wasn't part of anything. Everything was only Brittney's.

She had trophies, I didn't. Maybe because I didn't work hard enough, or maybe, I just, gave up.

Gave up on all the hopes I created. Gave up on my dreams, on my wishes. And mostly, I gave up on myself.

Foolish, right?
Wrong.

I didn't know what to live for. I didn't why I should live. I wanted to live for us. I wanted to live for Josh and Blaire. That was the only hope I had left.

But I guess, that hope, turned to a dream. And it wasn't a dream come true. I didn't have anything to hope for anymore. So, what is there to live for?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

I'm sorry if you're mad. I'm sorry, if I disappointed you. But I can't. I can't live on. I can't live my life without a target.

I can't live my life when people discourage me, ignore me, reject me.

I can't live my life when my own family, couldn't accept me, love me, care for me.

And most of it, I couldn't live my life when you don't seem to notice that I was in love with you.

Wasn't the signs enough?

Flashback
Josh's POV
May 22, 2014.

I opened my locker and saw the most unique letter sitting against the edge. I smiled, knowing who it was.

I love you, was what it stated.

I smiled as I folded the paper and placed it in my pocket. The letters I kept, filled with donut stickers.

Flashback over

Or was I not enough for you?
Was I a failure to you?

The question is, Josh.
What am I to you?

I want to know, badly.