Heb 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
1 Cor. 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.
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In this story you will learn how both of these verses go hand in hand in my life.
Eric
When we were younger I was the only one that had to endure all kinds of abuse by the hands of the very people that are supposed to protect me. Even at the school I was picked on and bullied for being so light skinned. Eric is my younger brother he loved super heroes of any kind. He ran around with a cape on pretending to be superman or batman.
In addition to running around with a cape he loved to color his super heroes in coloring books. One day we went to grandma's house and he said that he wish he would have brought his coloring book because we were there so long. So I suggested to him that he find a piece of paper and draw himself a ninja turtle and then color it.
I told him that he's seen enough of them to be able to draw one. A few minutes later he came back with that paper and a ninja turtle was drawn on there. I took it looked at it and I just be damn it looked just like a ninja turtle with a crooked neck but other than that it was perfect. I was amazed because he was only 5.
He took the picture and showed it to everybody at grandmas house and they are all impressed. He was excited that he just kept drawing them and drawing them as the months rolled by. As he grew up he took art classes and was entering into contests that had cash prizes. But this time he couldn't just draw his favorite super heroes for the contest. This time the school picked a subject for him to draw about.
And he had a hard time thinking of something to draw. For example: The subject was education. And he came to me and said he don't have any idea what to draw about when they said education. By this time he had gotten where he could draw anybody or anything if you could imagine it then he could draw it so I told him draw a college campus with some since some students.
So he did. Then at the end of the drawing there was no name on the college he drew and he asked me what should he name it? As we sat and thought of a name my mom came into the room and asked him a question and she didn't understand him when he answered and she said I don't understand. So he repeated himself. When she left I told him name it IDU short for I don't understand.
He did. And his picture won first place $500 I think it was. So at the rewards ceremony they called him up to the stage to reward him with a check and a 1st place medal. But then I noticed they handed him an extra medal. He took it and got behind the microphone and said that this medal is for my sister because I get all my ideas from her and she is the most encouraging person in my life.
I cried tears of joy because what he didn't know was that to escape the abuse I was enduring I went in his room because I knew they wouldn't bother me in front of him. While I was in there with him I would just answer any questions that he had. He was the only one that gave me comfort throughout all that I was going thru. Right til this day my brother draws comic books for a living with a wife and 3 kids. I'm so jealous of his wife though because she has my brother near about to herself.
So everytime I see his wife I'm saying all kinds of slick stuff her. She frowns up. I can tell she doesn't like me but oh well. She has my brother and I don't think I'll ever like her just because I was the most important in his life until she came along. Anyway this is a copy of some of his art work.
Jimmy
He was in my algebra class he had a small afro and he sat next to me in class. Everyday we talked, laughed, and enjoyed each others company. But his problem was that he hung around the wrong crowd because many days I sat there all alone because he skipped school with his friends alot. One day he asked me would I skip school with him and I said yes. But this other little girl whispered in my ear telling me not to skip school with those boys
She told me that a girl skipped school with those boys before and they held her down and they pissed in her mouth. I can remember thinking to myself what in the hell type of stuff is Jimmy into? So I didn't go. But that didn't stop him from skipping school without me. Then one day I got to school and people were telling me that Jimmy was playing Russian roulette with his friends and shot himself in the head and died. I cried so hard and felt so lonely.
George
I remember just randomly walking by this bus driver at the Jr high school and started a conversation with him. He seemed to enjoy the company because everyday we ended up chatting with each other. He treated me like a daughter. Finally I had a real father figure in my life. One day he came to me and asked me where do I live because when I go to high school next year he can pick whatever route he wants to and he said he wanted to be my bus driver next year.
So I told him my street name. Deep down inside I thought he was lying and that I would never see him again but on the first day of school there was George driving my bus. I sat directly behind him every single day. And we laughed, talked, crack jokes and flirted with each other in front of everybody. Big mistake! One day out of no where they called me into the office at the school and there sat the principal, the bus driver's boss and some more white people.
The bus driver's boss asked me was George and I having sex. I was shocked and I told him no. But he kept asking me over and over again. And he said don't worry George won't get into trouble or you just tell the truth. I said ok the truth is no. Then he asked me why do people think that he is sleeping with you. I smiled and said you should ask those people why their mind is like that. That man looked at me like he could have knocked my head off my shoulders for that comment I made.
So then I told him maybe because I sit behind him everyday they think that. So the principal asked me why do you sit behind him everyday and I told him I don't know why. So after school that day I ran to the bus and told George about the whole meeting and he asked me what did I say and I told him. I told him the only question I couldn't answer is why I sit behind him everyday and I told him that they plan on asking him and he's on his own with that question.
5 min later the principal got on the bus and asked him why do she sit behind you everyday. He told the principal because I was bad and I get into trouble when I sit in the back on the bus and he had to assign me a seat right behind him. Truth is I never sat in the back before. So the excuse he came up with was genius. He knew that nobody would understand if he told them that he was my friend. Because everybody else thought it was a sexual thing.
But what they didn't know was that I gave my heart to George because all of the boys at the school had started that sexual thing that I wasn't ready for so that's why I had George in my life because George had told me in the very beginning that we couldn't have sex because I was too young. I just smiled and walked off saying ok because I loved George for being a father figure to me without the sexual thing. That's what made him different.
The devil tried to come in between us when his boss and I had that meeting but it didn't work because much to my surprise we continued to talk, laugh and flirt and crack jokes as usual. It surprised me because I thought George would be afraid to continue to be my friend but I guess he knew he wouldn't get into any trouble because he was doing nothing wrong. As I got older I moved into a house that I was renting right up the street from the George. When I moved again i moved up the street even closer to George.
When George died my heart was ripped to pieces. George was a better father to me than my real dad who's in prison serving life. He was better to me than my step dad who was abusing me daily. George was my earthly angel sent to me from heaven. I thank God that I was blessed enough to have George in my life.
After I lost George nobody was guarding my heart anymore so kept messing up giving my heart to somebody that would only break it. I was always hurt and always feeling used and thrown away. Until one day...
Joe
I was in Brandenton Florida my aunt Morrell let me stay with her for a little while until I got settled into being in this new state. Once I moved out I moved to this giant antique apartment building. There right next door to me was a man named Joe. The moment he introduced himself to me along with his name he told me that he was HIV positive and that he didn't care who knows it. I had never in my life seen a person that had that and admitted it like that.
If somebody else that I knew had it they never admitted it to me before. But I appreciated his honesty and hearing him say that broke my heart. But Joe wasn't keeping that a secret from anybody. Everybody knew that about Joe. So when Joe came to his apartment everyday he stopped and talked to me. Joe was as sweet as he could be. So if Joe needed a ride to the store or to his doctor's appointment he always asked me.
Since he was sick and so nice and didn't have a car I took him. All of my neighbors kept trying to warn me to stay away from Joe because he was sick. But I knew that his sickness wouldn't just jump in me from it is the air. I was educated better than that so I knew how that disease works. I thought about it as well I thought to myself if Joe was my real dad or real brother would I avoid him then? The answer was no.
Since he was treating me like family I was treating him like family as well. I was always helping him when he needed my help. He used to show me how much medicine he took. It would all be inside of this huge duffle bag. Because I was there for him he didn't call me Red or Relanna he called me angel. But in actuality he was being my angel. Because he was sick and would talk to me about how he had no idea which woman gave him the disease. It all slowed down my promiscuous behavior almost to a complete stop.
One day he had an appointment and I took him and as we waited for his name to be called he told me about his older brother that had the same disease that he had. He said the difference between him and his brother was that his brother was going from state to state with full blown aids spreading it on purpose. He said he asked his brother why are you going around sleeping with all these women knowing you sick? His brother told him that he has to die then everybody's going with him.
Then I sure enough stopped being promiscuous because I had never heard of anyone going around giving that disease out on purpose. Joe told me that there are many people out there that are doing that everyday as a way of vengeance. It's one thing to hear about this disease in the news or on TV and hear somebody talking about it. But it's a whole entire thing to witness somebody suffering from it. The whole thing was nothing but God's doing to teach me what could Happen to me if I didn't stop being promiscuous. As time went on temptation was easier and easier for me to deal with because when people saw me taking him to the store or to his appointment or saw us talking they assumed the typical thing they always assume. So temptation became far more easier for me to battle because they all avoided me because I was friends with Joe. I was happy that they were avoiding me.
That's the crazy part. I really and truly did not care what nobody thought about me. Because I saw him being in my life as an eye opener and I thanked God for Joe being in my life. One day my step dad came to visit me and offer me to come back home to Mississippi and move back in with my family. So I agreed to move but my step dad had talked to my neighbors there and they told him that I was hanging around Joe and Joe was sick. My step dad told me that in order for me to move back in the house with him and my mom that I would have to take an HIV test.
But I knew I had never slept with Joe but he was so worried about it but I told my step dad that I'm not taking no test. He told me that since I won't take the test that I wasn't going to come back to his house and that he'd have to find a place to drop me off then. I told him well then take me back to Florida because we were half way in another state when he was telling me this. But he refused to take me. I still refused to be tested because I knew that he just wanted to continue to abuse me sexually.
Once he finds out that I was disease free. So I continued to refuse and he kept asking me why would I be refusing such a test so then I told him because I don't want to take a test like that until I'm ready. So since I refused to take it once we got to back to Mississippi he dropped me off at the nearest hotel and told me from here you're on your own. There I was with no place to live staying in this hotel until my little money ran out. I had to think of some place to go because at the price of that room I wouldn't have long to stay there.
So I got on the phone and called classmates and friends until I found one that was actually renting out houses which just so happened to belong to my classmate. That's where I stayed for a long time once I got a new job a new car which my friend girl's father let me have one of his cars to get to work in. Meanwhile my step dad was continuing to worry me about a HIV test trying to talk me into him taking me to get one. I continued to refuse. He kept saying things like but you can have that in you for years and not even know. But I knew I didn't ever touch Joe in that way.
But my step dad thought that I did and for some reason I was fine with him thinking that because I knew as long as he thought that he'd never try to do anything inappropriate with me again. And it worked because I hung around Joe and he was sick my step dad didn't even attempt to or bring up those inappropriate things to me again. In fact as the years rolled by my step dad apologized for his inappropriate behavior.
This story was the one that impacted me the most. I never thought I would put an end to the abuse nothing that I tried seemed to work. I even told my mom but he only beat me for telling. Joe just being in my life changed a problem that had been going on for years simply because I was being a care giver to Joe by taking him to doctor appointments and to the store when he needed a ride.
In my eyes that was God working in mysterious ways again. It was a blessing. Right til this day I only wonder is Joe still living because after I moved away we lost contact.
After I left Florida I was back in Mississippi again back to my same old typical self. Still as promiscuous as ever. I lived on my own and just lived any kind of way. I got involved with any type of activities. I hung around with only people that were just as crazy as I was. On my wild journey I met James he at the time was just as wild as I was. We were wild together. Seemed as if we were in a race to see who was the wildest. Then I ended up married to James and I was still the same never did change.
For some reason he just wasn't enough to change me. Throughout all the fights and name calling and arguing I never thought we'd make it. I sure enough wasn't about to change in that type of environment. Life seemed to make me unhappy when I should have been happy. I can't remember the exact day I started to get worse with my attitude. But I began to develop severe mood swings. I'd curse anybody out that looked at me wrong. I fought people and had neighbors afraid of me.
I didn't have any real friends. When I say real I mean friends that kept it real. Until I met my father in law.
