Brotherhood

Brotherhodd

I didnt think id cry after the shit hes put me and my family through. Id didnt think id cry after all yhe anger hes made me deal with. All the people ive had on my back since day one of this shit. All tenseness ive had thanks to him because i have to watch my back. I didnt think id cry but asbi sit here at 4 am in the morning...listening to him sleep softly listening to his music. I cant help thinking of back then. When we were actually brothers not at each others throats. When we promise to risk our lives for each other. As i sat there one day lookimg at pictures seeing our old photos and seeing the good times when we actually laughed wih each other and hugged each other. The days i protected my brother from harsh punishments from our step father because we left our sister outside alone by herself. That punishment i told my father give me the belt for his sake and let him go to bed in peace. Those times we had competitions about everything. Those times when none of this shit happened. The times when my famiky wasnt going through a struggle or that my mother wasnt crying for her baby boy to be safe while he was far off. The days i dont have to sit there and hear my sister ask. When is lane coming home or can i talk to lane. And id watch as my mother and father would look at her in sadness and say im sorry alyssa. Lane is busy at the moment in mississippi. He cant be bothered at the moment or the response for him coming home was i dont know baby. Id sit there forcing myself not to cry as id see my sisters light start to fade out after her questions kept getting shut down. And ld see my mother's eyes as she kept saying those things to my sister. Id see her just like me struggling to keep her cool. Id see my father shake his head. Angered, not because of my sister. No...because its the same thing they have to repeat many times. See what many people dont think because of my fathers attitude sometimes...but he loves his kids. He loves me, my sister, and my brother, no matter the shit he put my father through. My father loved us he was a caring man. Always there from either the moment he woke up to the moment he woke up the next morning. So he was a never ending cycle of care. Either way back onto the topic at hand. My brother. Damn him for this but i love him. Through everything hes put me and my family through. I love him. See what people dont get is... I can say the most heinous shit about my brother maybe even threaten his life sometimes because he pisses me off. But through all that.. Id wish him none of it. Id wish for him to be safe. To be well. For him to have a better life then i will. I wish for him to win the lottery. I wish for hil to never resort to the military as his last resort. Dont get me wrong i think the military great. Plan on going in myself but. I dont want him to. I dont want to get that letter at my door or a call from someone. Saying he was KIA. For all those who dont know it KIA stands for Killed In Action. Yea i dont want that. So lets put it there. I want him to get his dream car. His dream wife. His dream house. His dream everything. And the funny thing...id sacrifice my life in order for him to get that. I just cant hate him. And as i still sit here listening to him snore and listen to music. I stay awake unable to sleep in fear i may miss his leave at 10. So lets count it down. 4:21AM we have now 5 hours and 39 minutes left till 10AM. Can i stay awake for that long? Well thats for me to know and you to never find out. Thank you everyone who reads this for the time you spent reading it.

Id like to make a moral of a story in a sense. A sort of lesson.

Dont take your family for granted. They are the only things you will miss the most when they are gone. Again thank yoy amd goodnight