hi dis is my furst storey so pls dont be mean 2 me, my japenes big~ broter helpd me wit gramar fixes so u cen reed it bcuz i hav psycoligical problms :((((((
HERES THE SOTRY
It all started when our uber geek, Tom Hanks, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously relieved, Tom Hanks backhanded a carrot, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved gucci bong was missing! Immediately he called his so-called friend, Tim Allen. Tom Hanks had known Tim Allen for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were enticing ones. Tim Allen was unique. He was charismatic though sometimes a little... pestering. Tom Hanks called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Tim Allen picked up to a very unctuous Tom Hanks. Tim Allen calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies yawn before mating, yet disease-carrying chipmunks usually wildly sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Tom Hanks. Why was Tim Allen trying to distract Tom Hanks? Because he had snuck out from Tom Hanks's with the gucci bong only ten days prior. It was a eccentric little gucci bong... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Tom Hanks got back to the subject at hand: his gucci bong. Tim Allen sighed. Relunctantly, Tim Allen invited him over, assuring him they'd find the gucci bong. Tom Hanks grabbed his whale and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Tim Allen realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the gucci bong and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Tom Hanks took the hippie-pleasing hybrid vehicle, he had take at least eleven minutes before Tom Hanks would get there. But if he took the twin turbo hatchback? Then Tim Allen would be alarmingly screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Tim Allen was interrupted by nine insensitive immigrants that were lured by his gucci bong. Tim Allen panicked; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he fearlessly reached for his gerbil and recklessly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the twin turbo hatchback rolling up. It was Tom Hanks.
PART 2!!!!!!!
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Tom Hanks was out of the twin turbo hatchback and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Tim Allen's front door. Meanwhile inside, Tim Allen was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the gucci bong into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Tim Allen was relieved but at least the gucci bong was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Tim Allen surreptitiously purred. With a careful push, Tom Hanks opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish flaming idiot in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Tim Allen assured him. Tom Hanks took a seat ridiculously far from where Tim Allen had hidden the gucci bong. Tim Allen sighed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Tom Hanks was distracted. A few unfulfilled decades later, Tim Allen noticed a abrasive look on Tom Hanks's face. Tom Hanks slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Tim Allen felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Tom Hanks asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the gucci bong right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A funny-smelling look started to form on Tom Hanks's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's carrots from when she used to have pet legless puppies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Tom Hanks nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Tim Allen could react, Tom Hanks aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The gucci bong was plainly in view.
Tom Hanks stared at Tim Allen for what what must've been six millseconds. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Tim Allen groped earnestly in Tom Hanks's direction, clearly desperate. Tom Hanks grabbed the gucci bong and bolted for the door. It was locked. Tim Allen let out a striking chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Tom Hanks,' he rebuked. Tim Allen always had been a little abrasive, so Tom Hanks knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Tim Allen did something crazy, like... start chucking gerbils at him or something. Ever so extemperaneously, he gripped his gucci bong tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Tim Allen looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Tom Hanks. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Tom Hanks. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Tim Allen walked over to the window and looked down. Tom Hanks was gone.
PART 3!!!!!?,,
Just yonder, Tom Hanks was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Tim Allen's place. Tom Hanks had severely hurt his fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral immigrants suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the gucci bong. One by one they latched on to Tom Hanks. Already weakened from his injury, Tom Hanks yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of immigrants running off with his gucci bong.
But then God came down with His intelligent smile and restored Tom Hanks's gucci bong. Feeling puzzled, God smote the immigrants for their injustice. Then He got in His gas-guzzling, ecology-destroying, tankish SUV and zipped away with the fortitude of 200,000 disease-carrying chipmunks running from a teensy pack of 3-legged wallabies. Tom Hanks flipped with joy when he saw this. His gucci bong was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in seven minutes his favorite TV show, Glee, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet hand grenade'). Tom Hanks was overjoyed. And so, everyone except Tim Allen and a few rusty razor blade-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.
