Since James said he was going to be there for me, I told him why I was sad.
Me: Its because of Lilly, she acts like shes my friend. Then the next day, she acts as though shes better than me and it hurts.
James: OK. Do you want to talk about it anymore?
Me: No, I need to sleep. Thanks, again.
James: No problem, thats what friends are for.
The next Friday LIlly had screwed with my mind, again. She ran away, again. I was tired of her bullshit. I was tired of crying and hurting because of her. That night I emailed James again.
Me: She did it again. She keeps ignoring me then trying to get my attention. It hurts.
James: Ok, next time she starts a conversation with you, I'll come up to you and start a conversation with you. OK?
Me: OK, Thanks :) I had trusted him to be there for me.He was the first person I had truly opened up to. He knew I liked him already, so that was out of the way, and he was my best guy friend. Possibly even my best friend. Piper, I love her to death. She has always been there for me, but maybe I dont see her enough to talk with her about this stuff.
James: No problem, thats what friends are for, right? I smile, remembering that he had said the same thing the first time I told him that I was sad.
Me: Haha... Yea.
James: Ok I gtg. I have hw to finish.
Me: Mkay, byee I trusted him to be there for me. I needed him to be there for me.
I still wore the Hunger Games dog tag, becuase I was obsessed with Hunger Games and why throw away a perfectly good piece of merch?
The next Thursday, Lilly ran away, again. I was done this time. Completely done. We had indoor recess the next day because of how cold it was outside. We played in the gym. I just stood around seeing that Anna was having fun with some seventh graders and I decided to just leave them alone and let her have her fun without me ruining it. "Hey!" I hear Lilly say. She was standing with Josh and two other eighth graders.
Irritated, I just ignored her. "Alice, come here. We want to hang out." Josh said. I did have what I considered a 'side crush' on him. A side crush where I thought he was cute and nice, but I still liked James, who should be saving me any minute.
"Fine." I say walking towards them. "You want this?" I say taking off the dog tag. I didnt want it. Every time I looked at it, I thought of Lilly. I didnt want to think about Lilly. I was geting close to a breaking point. A breaking point which I hadnt reached before, ever.
"Don't. She's had it in her bra before." Lilly states easily. Yes, I had it in my bra, once. When Lilly gave it to me, I had no where else to put it. My shoe, I guess, but I didnt want to reach down just for one stupid thing.
"Here, Let me see it." Josh said ignoring Lilly's stupid comment. "Im going to keep it. Just let me see it." Lilly burst out laughing finding it funny that he still wanted to touch something thats been in my bra. I took off the necklace and gave it to him anyway.
"No, you can have it if you want it. I certainly dont want it." Lilly gave it to me. I added in my head.
"No, here, Im done looking at it." Josh said putting it back into my hands.
Lilly told me to give the dog tag to her if I didnt want it. I said no, because she gave it to me, I wasnt giving it back. She tried to grab it out of my hands. Where was James? He said he'd help me. He was no where in sight. She tried to take the dog tag out of my hands once again but this time I flung my wrist to the right and I lost my grip on the dog tag. It went under the bleachers. I was prying that nobody would try to get it. Everybody in my class wanted me to get it back.
I was hoping that nobody would care, but everybody did. Eventually, they got it out from underneath the bleachers before recess was even over.
(A/N:
Hey guys! I know in Mistakes I said that James didnt know during the emails that Alice liked him. I messed up horribly. My thoughts were clouded and yea... Just dont think about that book while reading this one, please. I know yesterday I pointed out that they were very similar, but they have different points of view in the same person.... Basically just dont compare too much. If theres something big that Id like to point out, I'll do it in the A/N.
I love you guys! I will be updating "I Love You, Can You Love Me?" today. Byee! Xx. ~Tara)
