Ruthless | Anakin Skywalker

I-I

       How can you cope with losing someone close to you? My life is full of loss, war has made sure of it. Thousands have died before my eyes, and I could hardly do a thing about it. I lost great friends, loyal men, my home. I have seen worlds lose everything from this war. War is ruthless. I thought the war would end today. It just didn't think like this. I land my ship gently with it releasing a slight hiss. The red light from the lava is the only thing illuminating the ship. I rest my elbows on the council of the ship bending my arms to rest my head in my hands. I breath is shaky, my body trembling as my worst, unfathomable fear is coming true. The man who battled next to me, my friend, my protector, my happiness, my husband has done something terrible. I shut my eyes tight, a tear escaping as I think of it. I let out a broken sob, choking as I try to hold the rest back. Several jumbled thoughts start to run through my head. I can't breathe, I cannot think.

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     We met when we were nine. I accidentally stowed away on Master Qui Gon and Master-then Padawan- Kenobi's ship. Yes, I accidentally got on their ship and was thrown into their mission. I hid in there to study, and I fell asleep. I always studied on different ships. I found them more inspirational than the Jedi Library. As I studied I would imagine a older me soon using these ships for my own missions, which only encouraged me to study more frequently. I wanted to be a great Jedi who traveled and see all of the worlds the galaxy had. I didn't know what my future would hold. I think even if I knew my fate I wouldn't leave the Jedi Order. The world was different thirteen years ago. No war, no Sith, and no Separatists. That day my life changed forever. I thought I fell asleep on the right ship at the right time. However, Master Qui Gon told me I fell asleep on the wrong ship at the wrong time, and maybe he was right.

"Do you have your light saber, young one?" he asked me while kneeling down to my level. 

"I do, Master," I quickly took out my weapon running my hands down it's white handle before presenting it to him. I nervously looked at him before glancing down at it. I was proud of my saber,  "I made it when I was seven. I'm a couple of years ahead of most kids in my age group, so I  know how to use it." I glanced from him to my lightsaber as he chuckled.

"You still have much to learn, youngling. There is much more to being a Jedi than battling. Which is why it takes much wisdom, patience, and strength to be a Jedi," he started to stand glancing toward the cockpit. I felt slightly embarrassed. I knew those things. I could have been boastful about so much more. I knew I would become a great Jedi. So many people told me so when I would practice. I shook my head at those thoughts as he began to speak to me again, "Come, I believe we are arriving to our destination. What is your name, young one?"

I got up to follow him, " Luana Caelum," I answered then furrowed my eyebrows, "Where are you going?" 

He walked a couple of steps before answering, "Naboo, the Trade Federation has set up a blockade and the Chancellor has sent my Padawan and I negotiate with them," he filled me in.

      I felt excitement bubble up inside me. A real mission. I have dreamed of what my first mission would be. The Jedi Archives held such great stories of missions and epic battles to maintain peace. Other Younglings and I would pretend to be on those missions and save the galaxy when we were smaller. Going on this mission meant so much to me. I almost danced in excitement as I kept in step behind him.  I looked up toward Master Qui Gon hopefully, trying to find the courage to ask him to join their expedition

"Master?"

"Yes?"

I hesitated, I knew I was overstepping my boundaries as a youngling, but I wanted to do more than the Jedi Temple could offer. I wanted to save people, fly across the galaxy, fight the droid army. I wanted to be a Jedi.