RESPONSABILITY RAIN

V

Her blue dress was covered in glitter and her curly hair was down. Her eyes weren't tired, and her smile was care-free as she danced in the strobe-lights next to Tyler. He seemed happy too and his hands were on her hips.

"I'm gonna get us drinks!" he shouted to be heard because the music was so loud. "What do you want?"

"I'll come with you! I want to take a look at the choices I have!" she shouted back and they walked to the bar, hand in hand, more for practical reasons than to be romantic. The place was so full that if they let go of the other, they might not find them, anymore.

"I'll take a couple of shots, want some?" asked Tyler, once he got close to the bar.

"Sounds great!"

The bartender poured the drinks and handed salt and lemon to the couple. Lucy gulped her drinks quickly and Tyler laughed.

"Go easy, hey!" he said and kissed her.

His breath smelled like alcohol but she still kissed him back. He handed a 20€ bill to the bartender, shouted to keep the change and took Lucy's hand, leading her to the dancefloor. Her head was spinning. Her world was spinning. After dancing a while, the guilt was still there and she shook her head to make it go away. Since that wasn't enough, she returned to the bar, leading her boyfriend by the arm. Multiple times. When she almost threw up, Tyler started to worry, but she didn't stop until she couldn't think coherently. The music was loud and the people were dancing too close to each other. She hated clubs and crowds but tonight, anything was good to make her forget what she'd done. And she was with Tyler, so nothing bad could happen...

She put her hands around his neck, closed her eyes and let herself drift around as they slow-danced in the middle of the hysteric crowd of drunk people. Their calm moves contrasted strongly with the frenetic dances of the other clubbers. Lucy didn't remember much of that night. She woke up the next day in her bed with a huge headache.

"Morning, sleepyhead!" someone said softly, but it sounded so loud and Lucy flinched.

"Shh..." she whispered.

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you happen to be a little hangover, maybe? I mean, I get it. When we got home, yesterday, you were all over me, if you know what I mean... And all over tequila, too, sorry, forgot to mention." The voice laughed a little but went back to serious. "Were you alright?" they sighed.

Lucy grunted and Tyler sat down next to her on the mattress. He handed her a water bottle and a couple of pills for the pain before looking at her with an amused smirk.

"Here. Should help you feel better."

Lucy took the bottle and had a little difficult swallowing the pills down.

"Thanks." she said after a while.

Tyler made her lie down again and kissed her forehead. He stayed next to her in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Lucy...there's something you said yesterday, that kind of bugs me."

She groaned.

"You talked about a blonde guy named Jason. You said you hurt the blonde Jason."

Lucy seemed to wake up all of a sudden. Panic flashed in her eyes, but he didn't realise.

"Yes?"

"Who's Jason?"

Lucy took a deep breath and looked at Tyler in the eye.

"I could tell you lies and invent a plausible story, but I don't want to. The problem is, I can't really tell you the truth, either." she admitted and looked down. Tyler frowned.

"Are you...cheating on me?" he asked, and sounded hurt. Lucy put her hands around his neck but he was unreceptive. She pulled away, destabilised.

"I swear to you, I'm not. Tyler, you're the only person that I love and trust with my life. Tyler, you're everything to me, and I could never do that." she paused. "I don't even want to."

"Who is he, then?"

Lucy sighed. She knew she had just promised him – and herself – not to lie, but what else could she do? She couldn't tell him what she did... Or could she?

"He's a boy I knew when I was younger. I was a foolish little girl and I did something I'm not proud of." she said, and added quickly. "But it doesn't define me! Please don't think that. Everyone makes mistakes. It's been haunting me since."

"What did you do?" asked Tyler. He had the wrinkle between his eyebrows.

"Don't make me talk about it. I beg you." Lucy closed her eyes. "It's nothing that could affect my present life with you in any way. You're just going to have to trust me on this one."

Tyler nodded. He left the room as if things were okay between them, but he was distant for the whole day. The afternoon went by quickly, she cooked herself a meal, because Tyler ordered a pizza for himself, and took a long, warm shower. The water was pouring down on her skin and she thought, worriedly: If she'd talked to him about Jason, who else knew? And what exactly did she tell them?