FORBIDDEN

Chapter 15: Tom

I felt the silence of the following day like a tangible thing. It was a day like any other except, Becky was here. I hadn't heard from her in a long time, I'm sure partly because of the prime minister of France's son, who had visited and had stayed at Becky's home for a few months before leaving for France.

I found her with my mother in the drawing room having tea.
"Oh Tom, look who decided to visit", spoke mother grinning from ear to ear, "it's been too long dear".

"Hello Tom", she had the same smile as mother's. "I'm truly sorry I wasn't able to visit for some time, I had guests and needed to entertain them".

"Don't worry Becky, nobody blames you", i just wish you'd stayed away longer, I couldn't help but think, I was on my way to see Valerie and was really not enjoying the delay.
"Well I shall be going now, you ladies enjoy your tea".

"Nonsense Tom, I've been taking up all of Becky's time, she probably just came to see you", stated mother, she smiled at Becky as if she was already imagining her future grandchildren. She suddenly snapped her finger and perked up like she came up with a great idea. "Tom why don't you take Becky for a stroll around the estate".

"Oh, no, I really don't want to intrude".

Yes, thank you.

Mother flicked her hands at Becky, "No, it's no intrusion at all, Tom wasn't going to do anything, Right Tom?"

I couldn't help but grind my teeth when I responded, "no nothing at all".

"Well if you insist".

I really didn't, please oh please get the picture and just leave.

Sadly for me Becky couldn't read minds so I was stuck with her.

The stroll through the garden was quite agitating, I kept having to make small talk with Becky and most of my time with her was spent in quiet boredom. Everything seemed to be against me today, the sun was pounding on my skull causing sweat to trickle down my back. The usual smell of rain and fog was gone replaced by a faint but very present smell of manure, and everything seemed to shine too bright, the green on the grass, the colors of the flowers. I felt like I kept having to squint my eyes all the time.

Finally we came to a stop at the big tree, the tree I'd come to think belonged to Valerie and I.

Becky gently placed her handkerchief on the ground before sitting. She patted the spot next to her indicating for me to join her. I reluctantly sat down.

"I know you don't like me much Tom" she finally spoke after a long moment of silence.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, suddenly curious, I never gave of a feeling of dislike when I was around Becky, partly because I didn't abhor her, I just hate the fact that I was pressured to marry her.

"Because, I know you don't want to marry me"

I couldn't help but release a faint sigh, "I'm sorry Becky but I can't marry someone I don't love".

"But we've known each other for years, how could you not have fallen in love with me?", she spoke her voice beginning to shake with oncoming tears.

I shoved my fingers into my hair, pulling back the soft  golden tresses, before turning to fully look at Becky. She looked beautiful as usual, her long hair left to fall down her back, her face adorned with colors. I stared at her for a moment longer.